Episode 35
I'm Back
Erika is back after a multi-month sabbatical following the loss of her beloved pet Archer. In this solo episode, she shares a whirlwind of stories, including going viral (literally), dealing with wild family drama and a dating experience so crazy it might have scared her off for good. Join her for a candid and entertaining catch-up as she dives into everything she’s been up to since her last episode.
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Transcript
Hello and welcome to Clover Club!
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:I'm back and I hope you miss me.
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:, this episode is going to give you all
the answers you've been looking for.
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:Where have I been?
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:What have I been doing?
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:Why did I stop recording?
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:OMG.
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:Don't worry.
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:I got you.
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:, I'm going to update you.
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:Of course, there are some
crazy stories in the mix.
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:, and then we're going to get
back to our regular, regularly
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:programmed, uh, content.
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:Okay, last we spoke was in late
April, and I had a fabulous episode
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:with comedian Mark Kendall, , and
then I had a bunch of things in
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:the works, but life got in the way.
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:And so here's, here's what happened.
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:So, I went on a date.
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:Mistake number one.
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:It was literally the Friday
after my last episode came out.
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:So, I meet this guy out for a drink.
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:We have, uh, A nice time.
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:Like he was smart and interesting
and he was very handsome.
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:He just was so short,
like shorter than me.
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:And, uh, I don't know.
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:Am I a dick for commenting on that?
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:I guess I maybe am.
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:So we have a nice date.
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:, we had a couple cocktails and shared each
other's cocktails and that was that.
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:A couple days later, I was
like, man, I do not feel good.
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:And I asked him , do you feel sick?
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:And he did not feel sick.
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:So this guy, what he does for work,
he's around kids a lot and is exposed to
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:germs a lot because of that, obviously.
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:So his immune system is probably
way more robust than mine because
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:I try to be very intentional about
not being around a lot of kids.
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:, and I, my immune system just like
cannot handle these funky kid viruses.
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:So I end up getting like unbelievably
sick and I'm testing negative for
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:so I finally go to urgent care, and
like, I can hardly, like, my mom
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:literally came down and drove me
because I was so unbelievably sick.
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:I don't think I've ever been
this sick in my entire life.
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:, truly at least top three.
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:, so I find out that I have strep throat
and an ear infection and they give
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:me a steroid shot and all of these
drugs and send me on my merry way.
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:So that morning that I went to the doctor,
I had started noticing I was getting
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:, Quite a bit of traction on a post
from the Hawkins and Clover Instagram.
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:And, uh, I'm like, Oh, this is awesome.
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:And so when I think when I went into
my appointment, there's a reel that
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:had been posted, had like maybe 20,
000 plays, which for us is a big deal.
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:Like it is hard to grow an
Instagram account as a business.
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:, A lot of people do not go into
business with the idea of like,
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:I'm going to be a content creator.
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:Uh, it's just one of
those things that you.
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:just like a, not an optional
part of running a business.
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:So, , this real that started to take off,
it wasn't as similar to anything else
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:that we've been posting over the years.
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:, but for whatever reason, this
one had the magic sauce and it
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:was starting to catch on fire.
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:So I get home from the doctor
and I'm laying on my couch.
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:I've got a fridge full of like Jell O
and applesauce and broth, and I'm just
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:like, not interested in any of it.
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:, and so.
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:The reel that had gone viral
was a reel displaying some of
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:the rolling papers that we sell.
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:These rolling papers are
made with organic paper, eco
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:friendly, soy based veggie dyes.
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:They are like, Totally
organic, totally safe.
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:That is something that is kind of like
a, like big brand principle for me is
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:that I don't sell cheap, shitty stuff.
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:And especially things that
you're smoking or inhaling.
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:I will only sell the highest quality.
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:So as this real is catching fire,
I'm starting to get some haters and
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:people are like, I can't believe
that you're glorifying smoking.
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:This is disgusting.
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:Like really, really mean stuff.
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:And I was like, Oh God.
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:And in that moment, it's like, I've got.
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:kind of a couple of
different paths I can choose.
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:I can ignore it.
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:I can respond very professionally or
I can respond like Erica, who is sick
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:as fuck and just got a steroid shot.
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:So I'm in the comments like fucking
fruit ninja just talking shit.
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:And as I am doing that,
this reel is on fire.
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:It went a round the literal globe.
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:Okay.
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:So we had, I think, 17,
:
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:When this all started, we
now have almost 45, 000.
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:This real at the time of
recording, this episode has 24.
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:5 million views.
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:Okay.
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:It went nuts, but in this moment of
choosing to be authentic in my responses,
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:I really think that I can credit a lot of
the like viralness of the real to that.
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:, cause I also, I'm just like, I don't care.
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:Like you're not coming into my house.
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:And talking shit to me.
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:I've done my research.
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:I'm happy to talk about it.
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:, but people are just looking for reasons
to be mean and you've come to the
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:wrong place if that's your intent.
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:, so I'm still unbelievably sick.
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:I, I lose my voice.
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:I literally like could not
hear out of my right ear.
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:It was still infected.
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:And to this day, I cannot
fully hear out of my right ear.
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:, I did go to an ENT and his advice was to
do nothing and that it'll sort itself out.
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:It has not sorted itself out, but the
thing to do is , if I went back to
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:an ENT is they have to puncture my
eardrum and like drain the fluid that's
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:trapped behind my eardrum, I guess.
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:, but he was like, they, these
don't always heal properly.
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:And so it's kind of like a last case
scenario and I don't want an unhealed
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:eardrum, so I'm really just kind of, I'm
just gonna let nature take care of it.
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:I guess, I don't know.
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:It's annoying, but it's not annoying
enough that I want my eardrum literally
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:sliced open, you know what I mean?
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:so around this time I have gone viral.
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:The guy that I had gone on the date with
was very apologetic and acknowledged he
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:was certainly the reason that I was sick.
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:, but then he got very annoying
and like obsessed with me.
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:And so I had to tell him,
don't leave me alone.
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:, and it's not that I can blame him, but
it was just too fucking much, especially
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:combined with being sick and all of that.
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:And I was just like, nope.
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:So, , I'm just.
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:So sick, again, like, literally zero
energy, cannot talk, cannot hear.
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:, I had to cancel so much work.
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:And, kind of, as things were getting
bad, my mom had texted me and she
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:was like, Hey, , your dad and I are
gonna come and pick up your dogs.
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:, So you can just like, focus on
getting better, which I so appreciated
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:because I never would have asked for
that type of help, but I needed it.
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:And so thank you, mom.
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:That was solid move.
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:, my dogs were in Roswell for 10 days.
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:So I go up finally.
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:I'm like, Going back to work, starting
to feel like I'm getting better.
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:I'm like done with all of my rounds
of medication and stuff like that.
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:, I pick up my dogs after work
on a Wednesday, Thursday.
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:I go to work like normal.
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:I come back and I'm driving home from
work and I get a fucking flat tire.
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:And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me.
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:This is the last thing that I
feel like dealing with right now.
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:And so I'm like, you know what?
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:I will Uber to work tomorrow and, , I
will deal with this tire over the weekend.
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:So I go home, and , I went on
a walk with my dogs that night.
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:That was so beautiful.
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:The sun was setting.
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:The sky was pink and orange
and just absolutely gorgeous.
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:I found multiple four leaf clovers.
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:It was a very special walk.
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:And my oldest dog, Archer is four.
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:14 and a half and his mobility as a
senior guy has been on the decline.
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:And so this was one of the longer
walks that we had taken in months.
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:And it was just so delightful
just to be out there with my
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:dogs, have them back home with me.
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:, it was very special.
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:So I'm going on about this
walk because what comes next
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:trigger warning fucking sucks.
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:Um, God, this has been like almost six
months now and I'm like already getting
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:emotional just trying to like retell
this and I'm, I can't go into too much
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:detail on this cause I'll just lose it.
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:But the next morning, that Friday
morning I woke up and something
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:was clearly wrong with Archer.
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:And like I said, he's 14
and a half, but his health.
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:fabulous.
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:I mean, he was old, but like
he had zero health issues.
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:Okay.
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:, so something was clearly along with them
and I was like, holy fuck, holy fuck,
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:I've got to get him to the emergency vet.
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:So I'm starting to like, get his, you
know, leash on and stuff like that.
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:And I realized, fuck,
I've got a flat tire.
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:I can't even drive him to the vet.
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:So I call my parents hysterical and I'm
like, something is wrong with Archer.
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:Can you please come pick us up?
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:, We've got to go to the emergency vet.
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:And, uh, you know, of course,
without hesitation, they came down.
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:, luckily traffic was good.
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:They got there as quickly
as you possibly can.
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:They live about 30 minutes away.
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:, and Archer and Luna, I, in 14
years have never separated them.
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:14 and a half years.
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:I mean, they are a packaged deal.
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:They go to the vet together.
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:They go to, doggy daycare together.
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:Like they're, they're
literally never separated.
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:, and so we took Luna with us and.
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:Uh,
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:I think I knew in that car ride, Archer
would not be coming home with me,
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:but there was still a part of me that
hoped there was something that could
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:be done while also knowing at 14 and
a half, I wasn't going to do any sort
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:of, , like aggressive intervention.
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:, so unfortunately I did get the bad
news at the vet that, , what was
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:happening was terminal and, uh,
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:It all happened so quickly.
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:Um, does it, for people who have
lost dogs, does this ever get
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:easier to talk about because
I just, God, it fucking sucks.
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:So, um, I had to say goodbye to
Archer and for the last six months,
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:I just haven't been myself, um,
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:It is the hardest thing I've
ever had to do in my life, and
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:I have done some hard shit.
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:I've lost human beings, um, and I
thought that that would prepare me for
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:this, but it fucking totally doesn't.
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:Like, I didn't live with those
human beings, and they weren't
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:my whole world for fourteen and a
half years, you know what I mean?
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:And the additional difficult part
of this, um, was grieving with
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:Luna because she just didn't know
what to do without her big brother.
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:It was gut wrenching.
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:I mean, every day she came
home and would just immediately
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:go search the house for him.
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:And it's almost like I had this vibe.
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:Like she thought that I like,
like she was like mad at me.
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:Like I had done something
optional, you know what I mean?
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:And it's just, um, Yeah,
it's the worst thing.
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:It continues to be the hardest
thing I've ever processed.
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:, so essentially for the last six months,
I have been doing the bare minimum, and
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:just processing the grief of losing him.
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:Um, uh, I really haven't
been socializing much.
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:I haven't been traveling as much.
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:, I just kind of would go to work
and come home and like cry and
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:like order Uber eats with Luna.
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:, uh, it's been really sad.
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:So as I'm trying to navigate what
happened with Archer and process
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:my grief, I did everything.
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:I started taking jujitsu classes.
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:I started playing tennis again.
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:, I started hiking.
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:I bought a paddle board that's like
designed to use with dogs and Luna and
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:I started paddle boarding together.
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:And I also started taking Luna
to work with me because she just
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:like, could not be at home alone.
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:, she would just.
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:Cry and my neighbors would text me and
just like, Hey, Luna is like sobbing.
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:Like, is it okay if we
bring her over to our house?
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:Which of course, so I'm, I'm very lucky.
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:It's, you know, when something like
this happens, you really see who
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:cares about you and who doesn't.
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:Um, and it's just kind of interesting.
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:Like who really went out of
their way to show up for me, not
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:just initially, but like months
afterwards to check in with me.
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:, Which I will never forget.
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:, so, in my tennis playing, I My foot
like you've got to be kidding me.
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:I'm already having the worst year ever.
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:, so I break my foot and so then
I'm in a boot and I'm sad and
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:then I can't play tennis or have
like a physical outlet anymore.
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:So that super, super sucked.
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:, so then, and I still do
not know how this happened.
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:I started feeling unhealthy again.
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:And I was like, is my
strep like coming back?
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:Like what is going on?
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:And.
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:I test positive for fucking
COVID and I'm like, Oh my God.
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:So I then have COVID and a broken foot
and a dead dog and I'm just at my worst.
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:I mean, this was, , the
epitome of sad girl summer.
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:, but I just, I just took
it one day at a time.
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:I just kind of like really shrunk my
world down and just did what I could
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:and let everything else go, which
obviously includes this podcast.
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:And even a couple of times I came in
here and I recorded like the episode
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:you listen to now, I've recorded this
multiple times and then I just would
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:end it and be like, this isn't right.
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:It's too emotional.
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:It's too, uh, Like, like I'm not in
this, I'm doing this because I feel like
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:I need to because people are wondering
why I haven't posted an episode and
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:that's not the reason to come back.
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:And so I just didn't post those.
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:I think it was cathartic, but, , you
don't want to listen to that.
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:So I was just not having a great time.
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:, but my mom and I.
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:planned a trip up to New England for
August and August is my birthday.
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:It's my favorite day of the year.
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:I always go out of town or do
something special for my birthday.
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:, and so this year I decided to do
a trip with my mom to new England.
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:So leading up to this trip, the night
before I drive up to Roswell and
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:I, , Bring Luna because my dad's gonna
watch her and this is if this gets
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:confusing my parents I don't know if
I've shared this before my parents are
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:still married, but they live separately.
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:So if I say sometimes I just by default
say my parents house because it's like
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:Easier, but my parents live separately.
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:And so, , that's going to come up in this.
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:So I just want to like clarify in case
you're like, what are you talking about?
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:, so I bring Luna to my dad's
house to drop her off.
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:And then my mom comes to my
dad's and picks up my dad
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:and I, and we go have dinner.
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:So we have dinner.
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:Everything's great.
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:And we're walking back to the car.
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:And I noticed that my dad's left ankle is
like twice the size of his right ankle.
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:And I was like, dad,
did you hurt your ankle?
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:And he's like, no, it's fine.
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:And I was like, uh, it's not fine.
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:It's like huge.
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:And immediately I'm thinking of a
client who recently had had a situation
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:very similar with her husband, where
he had had a blood clot and they were
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:walking back to their car after a meal.
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:And she noticed one of his calves
was like a lot bigger than the other.
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:And he ended up being in
the hospital for days.
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:And it was like, this is a big deal.
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:If it moves to your lungs or to your brain
or to your heart, you're, you know, toast.
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:So I'm like, dad, like, uh,
I'm, I'm concerned about this.
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:And my mom kind of holds back and
she's like, Kenneth, she's right.
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:It looks huge.
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:, and I'm like, yeah, see,
like something is wrong.
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:And he's like, that's fine.
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:So we get into the car and I'm in the
front seat cause I still have my boot
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:on cause I've got a broken fucking
foot and my dad's in the backseat.
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:My mom is driving.
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:, so we're driving down, if you can
picture North Point Parkway, if you can't
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:picture that, it is a main thoroughfare
with like, I think three or three
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:lanes on each side, maybe two lanes.
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:Maybe three lanes.
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:, but this is like a big
thoroughfare in Roswell.
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:And I have texted this client and
I'm like, Hey, like, will you walk
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:me through what happened with your
husband's blood clot, dah, dah, dah, dah.
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:She writes back and says, okay, if this
is what it is, this is an emergency, you
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:need to go straight to the emergency room.
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:Do not go to urgent care.
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:They don't have ultrasound imaging.
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:They're just going to send
you to the emergency room.
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:So I'm like, okay.
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:And I'm like.
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:Dad, like my client says, da, da,
da, da, and he's like, I don't
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:give a fuck what your client says.
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:And I'm like, uh, okay.
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:And my mom and I are looking at
each other like, what the fuck?
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:Like, what are we supposed
to do in this situation?
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:So, I'm just like, I'm overruling you.
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:And I put into the navigation,
like the closest emergency room.
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:And my dad's like, I'm not
going to the fucking hospital.
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:He's losing his mind.
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:It's like you're trying to
take a toy away from a child.
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:And we're just like, what the fuck?
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:, So, we're driving down North Pointe
Parkway and we hear my dad's seatbelt
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:unclick and my mom's like, Kenneth,
what are you doing back there?
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:So she slows down a little, looks
over her shoulder, in time to
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:see my dad jump out of the moving
vehicle onto North Pointe Parkway.
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:And we're just like, oh
my god, what the fuck?
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:The car behind us, like, slams down.
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:Slams on their brakes and like honks, my
mom and my mom's like, oh fuck you, can't
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:you tell I'm dealing with a crazy person?
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:And I'm just like, oh my God.
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:Like, okay.
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:I was like, mom, there's an
office park right up here on
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:the right, pull in there.
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:So she pulls over and she's
like, can you see him?
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:Is he okay?
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:And I like, look behind
me and like, he's fine.
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:He's just walking down the
sidewalk like something.
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:And I'm just like, Oh my God, he's fine.
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:And so we're just like, what do we do?
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:What the fuck?
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:I wish this had been recorded
because it sounds literally fake.
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:It's so nuts.
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:, and so my dad walks up to my mom's
window and like bangs on the window.
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:And he's like, get out.
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:I'm driving.
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:And my mom's like, the fuck you are.
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:Get in the back seat, you asshole.
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:And so my dad gets in the back
seat and we just look at him like,
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:bro, what just happened there?
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:And he's just like, there's an urgent care
at the end of my street, I'll go there.
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:And I'm just like, dad, that's so
inefficient, like, , my client said.
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:We shouldn't go to urgent care.
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:We need to go to the ER, da da da.
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:And my mom's like, Oh, shut up, Erica.
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:Can't you take a win when you get one?
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:And I'm like, I don't think
inefficiency is a win.
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:So then all of us are fighting
because I think this plan is dumb.
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:I think this plan is a waste of time.
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:And she and I are supposed to be
leaving at 5 AM the next morning
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:to drive 18 hours to Cape Cod.
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:Like the timing couldn't be
more inconvenient for us.
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:You know what I mean?
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:, and so I'm just like, what, whatever.
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:So we go to urgent care.
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:Of course, it's all like a digital
check in and stuff like that.
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:And so , I'm like, Dad, give
me your insurance card and
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:your ID and dah, dah, dah.
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:Like, I'll handle this.
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:So I get him registered or
whatever, and the doctor calls him
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:back and my mom goes back with him.
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:I wait in the lobby., So, they go
back there and the doctor says,
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:What seems to be the problem?
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:And my dad's like, Oh, my idiot
daughter thinks I have a blood clot.
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:And the doctor's like, Alright, well,
let's go over some questions here.
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:, and he looks at my dad's ankle
and he's like, Well, this does
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:present as a possible blood clot.
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:Let me ask you a couple of questions.
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:, in the last two years, have you had
any, , operations or procedures?
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:My dad says, no.
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:My mom says, Kenneth, you idiot.
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:You had a heart attack last
year and had a stint put in.
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:And my dad was like, Oh yeah.
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:And the doctor's like, Oh my
God, like very interesting.
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:Okay.
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:That certainly increases the
likelihood of a blood clot.
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:, let me ask you, are you on any medication?
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:Oh yeah,
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:I just take whatever they give me.
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:And the doctor's like, does whatever they
give you have like a name or like a dosage
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:amount or like any fucking details at all?
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:And then my mom's like, Kenneth,
how do you not know what you take?
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:This is insane.
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:And so they have this wild thing
and the doctor's basically like,
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:well, I agree with your daughter.
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:This looks like it could possibly
be a blood clot, but we don't
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:have an ultrasound machine.
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:So you need to go to the hospital
and get an ultrasound done.
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:Kind of like I fucking said.
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:So they exit the back and i'm just
like We walk into the parking lot
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:together and I of course I know From
my mom sharing with me after the
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:fact what happened in that room.
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:But at this stage of things, I
don't know what was discussed.
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:So I'm just like, what did he say?
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:And my mom's like, well, he agrees
that this looks like it could
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:be a blood clot and that your
father should get an ultrasound.
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:And I'm like, okay, kind of
like I said, , so are we headed
414
:to the hospital right now?
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:And my dad's like, I'm not
going to the fucking hospital.
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:And I'm like, well, wait a minute.
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:Did a doctor literally just tell you
that you should go to the hospital?
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:And, uh, Yeah.
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:He loses his mind.
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:So he's yelling at me in the middle
of this parking lot in the suburbs.
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:There's like families getting ice
cream, like, you know, like what
422
:in the Jerry Springer is happening.
423
:And I'm yelling back because I, for
all the times that I was a little
424
:girl and my dad would yell at me
and I was like, too scared to say
425
:anything, like, not anymore, sir.
426
:Like you don't pay my bills.
427
:You don't control me.
428
:You're not going to talk to me that way.
429
:, I'm not proud of the way I acted,
but if you heard the way he spoke
430
:to me, you would understand.
431
:, so he's like, I'm walking
home and I'm like, good.
432
:I hope you get hit by a car.
433
:And my mom's like, Jesus Christ.
434
:And she's like, everybody
get in the fucking car.
435
:So we get in the car, we drive the
three minutes back to my dad's house.
436
:I get out of the car.
437
:I don't go in and say goodbye to Luna.
438
:I don't talk to my parents.
439
:I just get in my car and I drive
straight to my mom's house.
440
:And, on the way, I was like, okay,
, there's one move I have in this scenario.
441
:, I'm going to call my brother.
442
:Now my brother historically is not an
especially helpful person, , but he was
443
:going to be the family member in town.
444
:So if this was what we suspected
it was, I wanted him to be there.
445
:In the loop on what was going on and
just know that my dad and I might need
446
:help with, you know, transportation or
taking care of pets or like whatever.
447
:, and my parents don't communicate, so
I knew they would not be calling him.
448
:So I call him and we don't have a
super close relationship because he's
449
:kind of an asshole with my brother.
450
:, and I'm like, Hey, like.
451
:I just want to fill you
in on what just happened.
452
:Like dad's okay, but there's kind of
a question mark hanging in the air
453
:about what's going on with his ankle.
454
:And I just wanted to, to put you in the
loop in case your help may be needed.
455
:My brother's response, fuck that he
did this to himself with that vaccine.
456
:And I was like, what the COVID
vaccine, the one that there hasn't
457
:been a booster for and over a year
has now magically given our father.
458
:A blood clot?
459
:And like, if dad had been smoking a
pack of Marlboros a day for 40 years
460
:and got lung cancer, you wouldn't reply
like, fuck that, he did it to himself.
461
:Like, what a wild place to take this.
462
:So I was just like, whoa.
463
:And I'm like, okay, so you're refusing to
help dad in a potential medical emergency
464
:because he got the COVID vaccine.
465
:And my brother said, yep.
466
:And I was like, Awesome.
467
:So I hang up the phone and I'm
like, Oh my God, my family's insane.
468
:And there's just no amount of
therapy that will change that fact.
469
:It's like, I can only change
the way I react to it.
470
:And , I was just so disappointed and
like, I knew my brother was vaccinated
471
:and , you know, obviously, uh, you know,
maybe nothing's obvious these days.
472
:I don't fucking know.
473
:It's not the path that I took, but I,
, just try to not get into it with him.
474
:But I didn't realize kind of like how.
475
:Deep the misinformation was to him.
476
:So my mom comes back to her house.
477
:We go inside and I tell her about
the phone call with my brother.
478
:She tells me that dad agreed to go to his
primary care doctor on Monday morning.
479
:Remember this is Saturday night.
480
:This is all happening.
481
:, and I'm just like, okay, but his
primary care doctor also doesn't
482
:have an ultrasound machine.
483
:So this is just like, he's just
delaying the inevitable, which is going
484
:to the hospital for an ultrasound.
485
:And my mom's like, Erica.
486
:Yeah.
487
:You see what we're dealing
with, with your father.
488
:Like, just, this is the
best I could have done.
489
:And I'm just like, okay, whatever.
490
:, but I'm so stressed out at
this point that I'm just like,
491
:I have got to smoke a joint.
492
:And, uh, the way that some people
are like, God, I need a drink.
493
:I was like, God, I need a joint.
494
:So, I'm sitting on my mom's couch and
I'm like starting to roll a joint.
495
:And she looks at me and she's like,
And where do you plan on smoking that?
496
:And I was like, Don't
worry, I'm gonna go outside.
497
:And she's like, Ah, you're gonna
get eaten by mosquitoes out there.
498
:And I was like, What?
499
:I'm like, Would you rather me
smoke it in your living room?
500
:And she was like, Yes, let me get
you something to use as an ashtray.
501
:And I was like, What the
fuck is happening right now?
502
:So my mom goes into her kitchen and
she comes back with like a dinner bowl.
503
:And she's like, Here you go.
504
:And I'm like, Okay, so I'm soaking a
joint in my mom's living room dashing
505
:into fiesta ware and we're talking
about how unhinged my dad is and
506
:Then we go to sleep and get ready
to go on this trip the next day.
507
:So my mom and I hit the road on Sunday.
508
:, we drive from Atlanta and we make
it up to Pennsylvania and the next
509
:day it was going to be Pennsylvania.
510
:So, and that would be Monday, the
day my dad is supposed to be going
511
:to see his primary care doctor.
512
:And we had a goal of having
pizza in New Haven for lunch.
513
:, and we went to Pepe's,
which is like world famous.
514
:And I'm sorry, I just want to put
all of you New Haveners on blast.
515
:That pizza fucking sucks.
516
:It sucks.
517
:I looked like a child coal
miner when I was done eating it.
518
:I mean, I'm like, my
hands are covered in soot.
519
:It was not good at all.
520
:I do not understand.
521
:There was a line around the block.
522
:People are obsessed and I just, I'm sorry.
523
:Sucks.
524
:Sucks.
525
:, so, anyways.
526
:We're driving after our pizza, and my
dad calls and says, , Well, I just left
527
:my primary care, and he says, It looks
like it could be a blood clot, but he
528
:doesn't have an ultrasound machine.
529
:So he wrote me an order to go to
the hospital to get an ultrasound,
530
:and it says, And we're like, really?
531
:And I was just like, kind
of like I said I would.
532
:And my mom's like, shh.
533
:And she's like, that's great,
Kenneth, you keep us posted.
534
:And I'm just like, oh my god.
535
:So a couple hours later he calls us.
536
:My mom answers and I can hear
through the phone that my dad
537
:says, no blood clot, bitches!
538
:And we're like, really?
539
:It's like the only time good news is
bad, because now you know in the future,
540
:if there's another medical issue,
he's gonna be like, Oh, remember when
541
:you told me I had a fake blood clot?
542
:Uh, I'm not going to the fucking doctor.
543
:And so, we're like, oh my gosh.
544
:And so my mom's like,
that's wonderful news, Ken.
545
:What is it?
546
:And he's like, I don't know.
547
:And she's like, well tell me.
548
:And he's like, no, have a good trip.
549
:And he hangs up the phone.
550
:We're just like, Oh my God.
551
:So at least from there, we're like, all
right, he doesn't have , a big book lot.
552
:We can enjoy the rest of our trip.
553
:Oh
554
:Do you want a face card
that never declines?
555
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butterfly studio tucked in the heart.
556
:Of grant park.
557
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558
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559
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560
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561
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562
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563
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564
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565
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566
:Actual treat Clover club listeners get a
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567
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568
:That's Hey butterfly, studio.com and just
mentioned Clover club when booking Oh
569
:So we had a great time in Cape Cod.
570
:We went from Cape Cod to Portland,
Maine, from Portland, Maine to
571
:Bar Harbor, Maine, and then drove
all the way back to Atlanta.
572
:So there was lots of car time.
573
:, but it was honestly like
the weather was wonderful.
574
:The scenery was great.
575
:The lobster rolls were good.
576
:, and like on our second to last day in Bar
Harbor, , Well, we had been doing like
577
:a lot of antiquing, like I love antique
shopping and going to just like thrift
578
:stores and antique stores and like all
of that stuff, especially in that area.
579
:I don't know.
580
:It just feels like cooler.
581
:, so we're in this antique
store and I find this bowl.
582
:It's a nesting bowl set of Pyrex.
583
:They're like pink and white, gorgeous.
584
:And , immediately my eye was caught
and I was like, I have to have these.
585
:And, I look at the price.
586
:They're 325 for four mixing bowls.
587
:And I was like, you are out of your mind.
588
:And this place like this old
barn on the side of the road
589
:that just was like antiques open.
590
:Like it was like a no frills situation.
591
:And there were a couple of pieces of art
there that I was really interested in, but
592
:they were all, Unbelievably overpriced.
593
:So in my mind I was like, okay,
these bowls are also overpriced.
594
:I'm sure I can get them online.
595
:So I leave empty handed
and then cell service up.
596
:There's a little spotty.
597
:So we got back to the hotel room
with wifi and I start searching for
598
:these bowls and I find that I can
buy them online for four, five, Six,
599
:seven hundred dollars for the set.
600
:It's the most sought after
Pyrex pattern that exists.
601
:And I was like, God damn it.
602
:Like having expensive taste in a good
eye just is a struggle of my life.
603
:, so I'm like, fuck, I've like given
up such a big opportunity here.
604
:And I try to find this antique store
again, but we're leaving the next day.
605
:They're closed the next day.
606
:And there's just no, like, So, we weave
down the east coast, popping into all
607
:of these different antique stores.
608
:, and I walk in, I'm like, Hi, do
you have that Pyrex Cinderella
609
:nesting bowl set in Gooseberry?
610
:And they're like, Ha!
611
:Fat chance, bitch.
612
:, like, you're never gonna see those.
613
:And they're like, if we get them
in, they're gone immediately.
614
:, and I'm like, God damn it.
615
:So, I casually mention to my mom,
like, you know, I know dad has no
616
:intention of apologizing to me for
the way he spoke to me before we left,
617
:but if he wants to apologize via these
Pyrex bowls, I am available for that.
618
:And also, like I mentioned, like
we were gone for my birthday,
619
:, which is also my dad's birthday.
620
:, so, , once we had been back, my
dad sent me a text with like a
621
:link to the, the bowls on eBay and
he was like, Do you want these?
622
:I'll buy them for you.
623
:And I was like, yes, I do.
624
:So the silver lining, happy ending ish
thing there was that I got my bowls.
625
:So
626
:I get back in town and, have a date.
627
:Now this is somebody I haven't mentioned,
, cause he was not worth mentioning.
628
:, but I had been casually.
629
:Dating this guy and, Kind of
intentionally casual, right?
630
:Like I had, I was still processing the
Archer stuff, so I wasn't really super
631
:available for anything of substance.
632
:, and quite frankly, nothing
ruins a relationship with a
633
:man like getting to know him.
634
:And so I had kind of
intentionally kept things light.
635
:, but it was a kind of a perfect situation.
636
:I never put in any effort.
637
:I never texted first.
638
:I never called first.
639
:I never paid a bill.
640
:Like it was, uh, Honestly, perfect.
641
:, so I've been seeing this guy
once a week, once every other
642
:week for the past couple months.
643
:And after we got back in town, , from
our trip, it was Labor Day weekend
644
:and he and I had a date planned.
645
:So a little backstory on this guy, , let's
see, I'm going to have to use fake names.
646
:Let me give him a fake name.
647
:Okay.
648
:So we're going to call him Chris.
649
:So Chris went to Northwestern on a
football scholarship, got a business
650
:degree, works for Wayfair, , drives
a new Tesla, which this is not me,
651
:like, Implying that that's good.
652
:I just want to paint the picture of
what type of person he is, right?
653
:Kind of a douche.
654
:But he's a nice guy.
655
:, he used to live in those apartments
on Cheshire bridge that burnt down.
656
:, and when they burnt down, he
moved in with his brother and his
657
:brother's girlfriend, and they live
kind of North of Stone Mountain.
658
:So like not inside the perimeter.
659
:But one thing about me is if
I'm casually dating a person, I
660
:do not Invite them to my home.
661
:So I've only ever gone out there, but his
brother and his brother's girlfriend, they
662
:like to spend their weekends in Athens.
663
:And so very regularly it would be like,
hey, My brother and his girlfriend are
664
:out, you know, like let's grab a drink
or whatever and got the house to myself.
665
:Wonderful.
666
:Okay, so that was kind of the vibe.
667
:I had never met them and I
never wanted to meet them.
668
:So anyways, liberty weekend, we have a
date and it's like very fun and I was
669
:driving home and I'm like, you know, I
have this guy very tightly packed into
670
:a specific box, but I just have this
moment of like, am I selling myself short?
671
:Like this is kind of like, there's a
lot of good things here, even though
672
:he's really not my type at all.
673
:He has a widow's peak that he shaves,
which is just like an immediate no.
674
:So, but I'm driving home and I
think I Again, intentionally, I
675
:don't know a ton about this guy.
676
:So let me do a little like reconnaissance
work and see if I can find his
677
:social media or find out more about
him and see if he's like the type
678
:of person that I would want to date,
like with any sort of seriousness.
679
:, so I start Googling and I'm like, you
know, So, Chris, Northwestern, Wayfair,
680
:like all the buzzwords that I know.
681
:But nothing's coming up.
682
:But there's also a million Chrises,
so that's not really crazy.
683
:, and so I think, ooh, let me pull the
property records for his brother's house.
684
:And then from there, I can find
his brother's social media.
685
:And then from there, I can
find Chris's social media.
686
:So, I pull the property records for the
house, and I see that the house is in
687
:the name of, , Richard and Sarah Souza.
688
:And I'm like, okay, great.
689
:So, I go onto Facebook, and
I'm like, Richard Souza.
690
:And I'm scrolling through the
profiles, and one catches my eye.
691
:So I click on it, and I zoom in on
the main picture, and I see a picture.
692
:Of Chris with a wedding ring on.
693
:And I was like, fuck, fuck.
694
:And then I had this brief moment
of like, maybe he's a twin.
695
:He's not a twin.
696
:So I do some more research and what I
realize is that Chris doesn't exist.
697
:Chris is Richard who has created
an entirely fake identity.
698
:kind of custom made for someone
like me to be attracted to.
699
:So Chris is married to Sarah,
who is an overnight nurse.
700
:So instead of the brother and
girlfriend being out of town in
701
:Athens for the weekends, this lady
is like working hospital shifts
702
:and I am in her fucking house.
703
:So I freak out and I'm like, Oh my God.
704
:And luckily I'm a member of, , you
may have heard of those groups, are
705
:we dating the same guy on Facebook?
706
:And so I post his whole fucking picture
and I say, Hey ladies, , I just found
707
:out the guy I've been seeing for the
past couple of months is married.
708
:He told me his name was Chris, but it's
Richard, , posting to warn other women
709
:and to try to find his wife, Sarah.
710
:Um, I get at this point, there's
like over 60 comments in this thread.
711
:Oh my God.
712
:He told me his name was this.
713
:He told me his name was this.
714
:I met him here.
715
:I met him here.
716
:I met him here.
717
:Please DM me.
718
:Please DM me.
719
:Please DM me.
720
:I'm an investigative journalist.
721
:Please DM me and I'll give
you all the wife's info.
722
:And I'm like, Oh my God.
723
:Oh my God.
724
:Oh my God.
725
:Then I start panicking.
726
:Like this guy is a professional, con man.
727
:I feel so grossed out.
728
:And so I messaged the first
girl and I'm like, Hey, like,
729
:what's the story with Chris?
730
:And she's like, Oh my God, I met
him in:
731
:he was married and he robbed me.
732
:I had to file a police report.
733
:Eventually I got my stuff
back, but , he's a bad guy.
734
:Stay away from him.
735
:And I'm like, Oh my God.
736
:And she's like, I told the
wife, she knows what he is like.
737
:Don't waste your time with her.
738
:She's fucking worthless.
739
:And I'm like, Oh my God.
740
:And so another girl's like,
Oh my God, he goes to my gym.
741
:I've never had a single
conversation with him in my life.
742
:, but he like follows me on Instagram.
743
:He's just like the weird guy at my
gym that follows me on Instagram.
744
:And I was like, Oh my God, I've
been trying to find his Instagram.
745
:Will you send it to me?
746
:So she sends me his Instagram and
I realized he's already found all
747
:of my social media and blocked
me so that I could never come up.
748
:Like this guy is a professional.
749
:So at this point I'm like, okay,
you've got to be kidding me.
750
:I've, I've also spoken to
the investigative journalist.
751
:, she has like pulled this lady's
like nursing license number.
752
:She's given me multiple phone numbers
and emails and contact information.
753
:And so I feel like I have
the information I need.
754
:So the next morning, Labor Day, , I
sent him a text and I was like,
755
:Hey, can I ask you a question?
756
:And he's like, of course, babe, what's up?
757
:And I was like, are you married?
758
:And the text bubble pops up and
goes away and pops up and goes away.
759
:And he replies.
760
:Yes, I am.
761
:And I was like, well, that was easy.
762
:, so I said, thanks for your honesty.
763
:, anything else you care to share?
764
:And he says, you're welcome.
765
:I apologize for not
disclosing that sooner.
766
:And I was like, yeah, you obviously
weren't going to disclose this.
767
:I was like, you are disgusting.
768
:And I was like, does your
wife know that you do this?
769
:And he said, no, she doesn't.
770
:And I said, she's about to,
and he said, I understand.
771
:I'm so sorry.
772
:I've recently been diagnosed with a sexual
addiction and I am getting treatment.
773
:And I'm like, bitch, I was at your house.
774
:18 hours ago, like, no, you're not
like, and I call such bullshit on that.
775
:, and I was like, all right,
buddy, here's the deal.
776
:Obviously I need to get an STD test.
777
:You're going to be paying for that.
778
:You're also going to reimburse
me for every fucking drop of gas
779
:that I've spent going to and fro.
780
:And then you're going to put a little
sprinkle, sprinkle on top of that number.
781
:And if I'm happy with it,
I will leave you alone.
782
:And if I'm not, you're going to
regret ever fucking meeting me.
783
:And he's like, I understand.
784
:I'm so sorry.
785
:So I send him my Venmo and
then he Venmo's me five.
786
:Hundred.
787
:So I'm like, 500 LOL?
788
:You're missing a zero, bitch.
789
:Game on.
790
:So then, I text his wife.
791
:And I said, Hi Sarah, , hate to
be texting with bad news, but
792
:I've been dating your husband.
793
:I literally just found out that
he's like, created an entirely false
794
:identity and is actually married.
795
:I'm , So sorry, but as a girl's girl,
obviously I had to let you know.
796
:, I'm happy to answer any questions
you have about details or
797
:timeline or anything like that.
798
:And again, I'm just so sorry.
799
:, so she writes back, thanks
for letting me know.
800
:, right now I'm just in shock because
he's been in treatment for years.
801
:for sexual addiction and he hasn't
relapsed in over a year and I said You
802
:should know that I posted about this on
a Facebook group and there's over 60
803
:replies He's been doing this your entire
marriage certainly including the last
804
:year , and I was like, you need to know
that I've been in your house like a lot.
805
:And she was like, honestly, I just
can't have this messing with my work.
806
:And I was like, well, that's something
I'd probably take up with your husband.
807
:And then this time I'm just like,
this is not how a normal girl
808
:responds to something like this.
809
:So I'm texting with a friend
of mine on the side and they're
810
:like, well, hold on if she works
overnights, how is she available
811
:to be responding to you right now?
812
:Are you sure it's not him on her phone
or like a family iPad or something
813
:like that doing damage control?
814
:And I was like, Oh, Oh
my God, I'm not sure.
815
:And I go back and I like look at my
text with her and like the verbage
816
:and cadence of speech and like all of
that is like the same as texting him.
817
:And I was like, Oh my God, Oh my God.
818
:So I said, Sarah, If this is you,
I need you to do me a favor and I
819
:need you to take a selfie holding
up three fingers in front of the
820
:strawberry painting in your kitchen.
821
:And she writes back and says,
I'm not going to fucking do that.
822
:I'm a victim in this too.
823
:Da da da da da.
824
:And I was like, boom.
825
:And I was like, that's
what I fucking thought.
826
:And then I get a response.
827
:And it's a selfie of her holding
up three fingers in front
828
:of the strawberry painting.
829
:It was her.
830
:She just fucking sucks.
831
:And I'm like, Oh my God.
832
:And I was like, holy shit.
833
:And she was like, I'm
fucking black and gay.
834
:And I was like, that's fine.
835
:I was like, whatever you do with
this information is up to you.
836
:I just had to make sure that
I was getting it to you.
837
:Wishing you happiness and healing.
838
:So then I stopped corresponding
with her and then I re download the
839
:app that I had met him on and , of
course we're not matched anymore.
840
:And so I reach out to them
and I'm like, Hey, can This
841
:is the experience I just had.
842
:I don't know if you can pull up my past
matches, but this guy's a predator.
843
:Da da da da.
844
:And they're like, Oh my gosh,
thank you for letting us know.
845
:We found his profile and disabled it.
846
:, we take these things very seriously.
847
:, of course, if he gets another phone
number, like we wouldn't know, but
848
:.
We've deleted what we have access to.
849
:So I was like, cool.
850
:Thanks.
851
:Then I emailed the chief of
police for Gwinnett County.
852
:And I said, Hey, you have a citizen
named this with this phone number with
853
:this address, who has been up to this.
854
:I don't know if like an actual
crime has been committed yet.
855
:Although he did rob one of the
victims in:
856
:report, but should this escalate
as these things tend to do, I would
857
:like for there to be a paper trail.
858
:Now, of course they have
not written back to me.
859
:They're probably busy like giving him the
keys to the city, like this fucking guy.
860
:Um, but I had to like, I had to, and then
the last message I sent was to my lawyer
861
:and I'm like, , what are my options here?
862
:, cause I didn't consent
to anything with Richard.
863
:, I've never heard of Richard
until, you know what I mean?
864
:, and so he's like, well, it's
kind of hard to prove damages.
865
:, but.
866
:If your STD test comes back
with something, then we
867
:absolutely like can, yes.
868
:, but of course the goal
is to not have an STD.
869
:So alas, my tests have come
back clean and I am good to go.
870
:But, , that is the craziest fucking
dating situation I have ever been in.
871
:And that says a lot.
872
:So I am officially in my,
um, Fuck that shit era.
873
:So the next person I date is going to
have to be like an in person connection
874
:with, it comes with like multiple
referral sources and people vouching
875
:for them because I can fucking not.
876
:, so that happened and then, you
know, it's election season.
877
:I've got some business moves I'm making.
878
:Things have been busy, but all in all,
I can say with confidence that Luna
879
:and I both are past that first kind
of big block of our grieving journey.
880
:, as you heard, just talking about it
earlier in this episode, it's still
881
:deeply emotional and upsetting for me
to talk about what happened with Archer.
882
:I still think about him literally
every second of every day.
883
:, and I will be processing
this, I think forever.
884
:It is not easy.
885
:, but I, I'm able to like, Engage
with life again in the way that I
886
:want to, , I've got a big trip that
I'm planning in January that I'll
887
:share more about in another episode.
888
:, and I've got lots of fun things
in the works for you listeners.
889
:, including my next episode that
will be out about the salmon
890
:industry, very intriguing.
891
:, so.
892
:That is my story of where I've
been, where I had gone, why I
893
:was absent, and how I am back.
894
:, thank you so much for listening.
895
:I, it feels good to be
back up here, reengaged.
896
:, I hope all of you have had a
better summer and year than I have.
897
:, And if you haven't already get out there
and vote, , early and in person is ideal.
898
:And, , yeah, thank you so much
for listening as always Clover
899
:club listeners get 10 percent
off at Hawkins and clover.
900
:com with code Clover club, all caps.
901
:And I will look forward
to hearing you next week.
902
:Goodbye.