Episode 35

I'm Back

Published on: 29th October, 2024

Erika is back after a multi-month sabbatical following the loss of her beloved pet Archer. In this solo episode, she shares a whirlwind of stories, including going viral (literally), dealing with wild family drama and a dating experience so crazy it might have scared her off for good. Join her for a candid and entertaining catch-up as she dives into everything she’s been up to since her last episode.

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Transcript
Speaker:

Hello and welcome to Clover Club!

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I'm back and I hope you miss me.

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, this episode is going to give you all

the answers you've been looking for.

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Where have I been?

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What have I been doing?

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Why did I stop recording?

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OMG.

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Don't worry.

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I got you.

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, I'm going to update you.

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Of course, there are some

crazy stories in the mix.

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, and then we're going to get

back to our regular, regularly

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programmed, uh, content.

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Okay, last we spoke was in late

April, and I had a fabulous episode

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with comedian Mark Kendall, , and

then I had a bunch of things in

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the works, but life got in the way.

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And so here's, here's what happened.

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So, I went on a date.

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Mistake number one.

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It was literally the Friday

after my last episode came out.

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So, I meet this guy out for a drink.

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We have, uh, A nice time.

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Like he was smart and interesting

and he was very handsome.

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He just was so short,

like shorter than me.

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And, uh, I don't know.

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Am I a dick for commenting on that?

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I guess I maybe am.

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So we have a nice date.

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, we had a couple cocktails and shared each

other's cocktails and that was that.

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A couple days later, I was

like, man, I do not feel good.

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And I asked him , do you feel sick?

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And he did not feel sick.

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So this guy, what he does for work,

he's around kids a lot and is exposed to

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germs a lot because of that, obviously.

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So his immune system is probably

way more robust than mine because

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I try to be very intentional about

not being around a lot of kids.

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, and I, my immune system just like

cannot handle these funky kid viruses.

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So I end up getting like unbelievably

sick and I'm testing negative for

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so I finally go to urgent care, and

like, I can hardly, like, my mom

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literally came down and drove me

because I was so unbelievably sick.

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I don't think I've ever been

this sick in my entire life.

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, truly at least top three.

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, so I find out that I have strep throat

and an ear infection and they give

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me a steroid shot and all of these

drugs and send me on my merry way.

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So that morning that I went to the doctor,

I had started noticing I was getting

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, Quite a bit of traction on a post

from the Hawkins and Clover Instagram.

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And, uh, I'm like, Oh, this is awesome.

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And so when I think when I went into

my appointment, there's a reel that

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had been posted, had like maybe 20,

000 plays, which for us is a big deal.

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Like it is hard to grow an

Instagram account as a business.

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, A lot of people do not go into

business with the idea of like,

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I'm going to be a content creator.

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Uh, it's just one of

those things that you.

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just like a, not an optional

part of running a business.

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So, , this real that started to take off,

it wasn't as similar to anything else

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that we've been posting over the years.

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, but for whatever reason, this

one had the magic sauce and it

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was starting to catch on fire.

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So I get home from the doctor

and I'm laying on my couch.

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I've got a fridge full of like Jell O

and applesauce and broth, and I'm just

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like, not interested in any of it.

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, and so.

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The reel that had gone viral

was a reel displaying some of

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the rolling papers that we sell.

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These rolling papers are

made with organic paper, eco

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friendly, soy based veggie dyes.

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They are like, Totally

organic, totally safe.

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That is something that is kind of like

a, like big brand principle for me is

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that I don't sell cheap, shitty stuff.

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And especially things that

you're smoking or inhaling.

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I will only sell the highest quality.

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So as this real is catching fire,

I'm starting to get some haters and

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people are like, I can't believe

that you're glorifying smoking.

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This is disgusting.

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Like really, really mean stuff.

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And I was like, Oh God.

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And in that moment, it's like, I've got.

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kind of a couple of

different paths I can choose.

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I can ignore it.

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I can respond very professionally or

I can respond like Erica, who is sick

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as fuck and just got a steroid shot.

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So I'm in the comments like fucking

fruit ninja just talking shit.

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And as I am doing that,

this reel is on fire.

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It went a round the literal globe.

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Okay.

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So we had, I think, 17,

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When this all started, we

now have almost 45, 000.

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This real at the time of

recording, this episode has 24.

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5 million views.

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Okay.

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It went nuts, but in this moment of

choosing to be authentic in my responses,

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I really think that I can credit a lot of

the like viralness of the real to that.

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, cause I also, I'm just like, I don't care.

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Like you're not coming into my house.

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And talking shit to me.

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I've done my research.

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I'm happy to talk about it.

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, but people are just looking for reasons

to be mean and you've come to the

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wrong place if that's your intent.

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, so I'm still unbelievably sick.

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I, I lose my voice.

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I literally like could not

hear out of my right ear.

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It was still infected.

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And to this day, I cannot

fully hear out of my right ear.

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, I did go to an ENT and his advice was to

do nothing and that it'll sort itself out.

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It has not sorted itself out, but the

thing to do is , if I went back to

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an ENT is they have to puncture my

eardrum and like drain the fluid that's

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trapped behind my eardrum, I guess.

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, but he was like, they, these

don't always heal properly.

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And so it's kind of like a last case

scenario and I don't want an unhealed

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eardrum, so I'm really just kind of, I'm

just gonna let nature take care of it.

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I guess, I don't know.

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It's annoying, but it's not annoying

enough that I want my eardrum literally

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sliced open, you know what I mean?

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so around this time I have gone viral.

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The guy that I had gone on the date with

was very apologetic and acknowledged he

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was certainly the reason that I was sick.

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, but then he got very annoying

and like obsessed with me.

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And so I had to tell him,

don't leave me alone.

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, and it's not that I can blame him, but

it was just too fucking much, especially

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combined with being sick and all of that.

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And I was just like, nope.

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So, , I'm just.

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So sick, again, like, literally zero

energy, cannot talk, cannot hear.

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, I had to cancel so much work.

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And, kind of, as things were getting

bad, my mom had texted me and she

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was like, Hey, , your dad and I are

gonna come and pick up your dogs.

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, So you can just like, focus on

getting better, which I so appreciated

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because I never would have asked for

that type of help, but I needed it.

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And so thank you, mom.

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That was solid move.

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, my dogs were in Roswell for 10 days.

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So I go up finally.

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I'm like, Going back to work, starting

to feel like I'm getting better.

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I'm like done with all of my rounds

of medication and stuff like that.

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, I pick up my dogs after work

on a Wednesday, Thursday.

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I go to work like normal.

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I come back and I'm driving home from

work and I get a fucking flat tire.

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And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me.

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This is the last thing that I

feel like dealing with right now.

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And so I'm like, you know what?

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I will Uber to work tomorrow and, , I

will deal with this tire over the weekend.

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So I go home, and , I went on

a walk with my dogs that night.

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That was so beautiful.

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The sun was setting.

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The sky was pink and orange

and just absolutely gorgeous.

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I found multiple four leaf clovers.

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It was a very special walk.

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And my oldest dog, Archer is four.

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14 and a half and his mobility as a

senior guy has been on the decline.

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And so this was one of the longer

walks that we had taken in months.

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And it was just so delightful

just to be out there with my

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dogs, have them back home with me.

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, it was very special.

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So I'm going on about this

walk because what comes next

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trigger warning fucking sucks.

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Um, God, this has been like almost six

months now and I'm like already getting

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emotional just trying to like retell

this and I'm, I can't go into too much

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detail on this cause I'll just lose it.

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But the next morning, that Friday

morning I woke up and something

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was clearly wrong with Archer.

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And like I said, he's 14

and a half, but his health.

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fabulous.

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I mean, he was old, but like

he had zero health issues.

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Okay.

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, so something was clearly along with them

and I was like, holy fuck, holy fuck,

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I've got to get him to the emergency vet.

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So I'm starting to like, get his, you

know, leash on and stuff like that.

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And I realized, fuck,

I've got a flat tire.

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I can't even drive him to the vet.

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So I call my parents hysterical and I'm

like, something is wrong with Archer.

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Can you please come pick us up?

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, We've got to go to the emergency vet.

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And, uh, you know, of course,

without hesitation, they came down.

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, luckily traffic was good.

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They got there as quickly

as you possibly can.

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They live about 30 minutes away.

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, and Archer and Luna, I, in 14

years have never separated them.

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14 and a half years.

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I mean, they are a packaged deal.

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They go to the vet together.

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They go to, doggy daycare together.

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Like they're, they're

literally never separated.

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, and so we took Luna with us and.

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Uh,

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I think I knew in that car ride, Archer

would not be coming home with me,

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but there was still a part of me that

hoped there was something that could

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be done while also knowing at 14 and

a half, I wasn't going to do any sort

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of, , like aggressive intervention.

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, so unfortunately I did get the bad

news at the vet that, , what was

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happening was terminal and, uh,

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It all happened so quickly.

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Um, does it, for people who have

lost dogs, does this ever get

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easier to talk about because

I just, God, it fucking sucks.

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So, um, I had to say goodbye to

Archer and for the last six months,

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I just haven't been myself, um,

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It is the hardest thing I've

ever had to do in my life, and

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I have done some hard shit.

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I've lost human beings, um, and I

thought that that would prepare me for

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this, but it fucking totally doesn't.

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Like, I didn't live with those

human beings, and they weren't

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my whole world for fourteen and a

half years, you know what I mean?

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And the additional difficult part

of this, um, was grieving with

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Luna because she just didn't know

what to do without her big brother.

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It was gut wrenching.

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I mean, every day she came

home and would just immediately

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go search the house for him.

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And it's almost like I had this vibe.

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Like she thought that I like,

like she was like mad at me.

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Like I had done something

optional, you know what I mean?

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And it's just, um, Yeah,

it's the worst thing.

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It continues to be the hardest

thing I've ever processed.

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, so essentially for the last six months,

I have been doing the bare minimum, and

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just processing the grief of losing him.

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Um, uh, I really haven't

been socializing much.

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I haven't been traveling as much.

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, I just kind of would go to work

and come home and like cry and

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like order Uber eats with Luna.

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, uh, it's been really sad.

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So as I'm trying to navigate what

happened with Archer and process

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my grief, I did everything.

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I started taking jujitsu classes.

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I started playing tennis again.

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, I started hiking.

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I bought a paddle board that's like

designed to use with dogs and Luna and

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I started paddle boarding together.

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And I also started taking Luna

to work with me because she just

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like, could not be at home alone.

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, she would just.

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Cry and my neighbors would text me and

just like, Hey, Luna is like sobbing.

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Like, is it okay if we

bring her over to our house?

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Which of course, so I'm, I'm very lucky.

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It's, you know, when something like

this happens, you really see who

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cares about you and who doesn't.

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Um, and it's just kind of interesting.

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Like who really went out of

their way to show up for me, not

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just initially, but like months

afterwards to check in with me.

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, Which I will never forget.

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, so, in my tennis playing, I My foot

like you've got to be kidding me.

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I'm already having the worst year ever.

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, so I break my foot and so then

I'm in a boot and I'm sad and

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then I can't play tennis or have

like a physical outlet anymore.

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So that super, super sucked.

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, so then, and I still do

not know how this happened.

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I started feeling unhealthy again.

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And I was like, is my

strep like coming back?

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Like what is going on?

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And.

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I test positive for fucking

COVID and I'm like, Oh my God.

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So I then have COVID and a broken foot

and a dead dog and I'm just at my worst.

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I mean, this was, , the

epitome of sad girl summer.

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, but I just, I just took

it one day at a time.

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I just kind of like really shrunk my

world down and just did what I could

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and let everything else go, which

obviously includes this podcast.

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And even a couple of times I came in

here and I recorded like the episode

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you listen to now, I've recorded this

multiple times and then I just would

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end it and be like, this isn't right.

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It's too emotional.

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It's too, uh, Like, like I'm not in

this, I'm doing this because I feel like

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I need to because people are wondering

why I haven't posted an episode and

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that's not the reason to come back.

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And so I just didn't post those.

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I think it was cathartic, but, , you

don't want to listen to that.

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So I was just not having a great time.

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, but my mom and I.

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planned a trip up to New England for

August and August is my birthday.

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It's my favorite day of the year.

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I always go out of town or do

something special for my birthday.

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, and so this year I decided to do

a trip with my mom to new England.

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So leading up to this trip, the night

before I drive up to Roswell and

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I, , Bring Luna because my dad's gonna

watch her and this is if this gets

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confusing my parents I don't know if

I've shared this before my parents are

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still married, but they live separately.

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So if I say sometimes I just by default

say my parents house because it's like

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Easier, but my parents live separately.

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And so, , that's going to come up in this.

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So I just want to like clarify in case

you're like, what are you talking about?

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, so I bring Luna to my dad's

house to drop her off.

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And then my mom comes to my

dad's and picks up my dad

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and I, and we go have dinner.

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So we have dinner.

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Everything's great.

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And we're walking back to the car.

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And I noticed that my dad's left ankle is

like twice the size of his right ankle.

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And I was like, dad,

did you hurt your ankle?

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And he's like, no, it's fine.

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And I was like, uh, it's not fine.

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It's like huge.

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And immediately I'm thinking of a

client who recently had had a situation

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very similar with her husband, where

he had had a blood clot and they were

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walking back to their car after a meal.

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And she noticed one of his calves

was like a lot bigger than the other.

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And he ended up being in

the hospital for days.

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And it was like, this is a big deal.

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If it moves to your lungs or to your brain

or to your heart, you're, you know, toast.

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So I'm like, dad, like, uh,

I'm, I'm concerned about this.

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And my mom kind of holds back and

she's like, Kenneth, she's right.

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It looks huge.

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, and I'm like, yeah, see,

like something is wrong.

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And he's like, that's fine.

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So we get into the car and I'm in the

front seat cause I still have my boot

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on cause I've got a broken fucking

foot and my dad's in the backseat.

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My mom is driving.

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, so we're driving down, if you can

picture North Point Parkway, if you can't

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picture that, it is a main thoroughfare

with like, I think three or three

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lanes on each side, maybe two lanes.

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Maybe three lanes.

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, but this is like a big

thoroughfare in Roswell.

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And I have texted this client and

I'm like, Hey, like, will you walk

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me through what happened with your

husband's blood clot, dah, dah, dah, dah.

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She writes back and says, okay, if this

is what it is, this is an emergency, you

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need to go straight to the emergency room.

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Do not go to urgent care.

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They don't have ultrasound imaging.

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They're just going to send

you to the emergency room.

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So I'm like, okay.

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And I'm like.

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Dad, like my client says, da, da,

da, da, and he's like, I don't

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give a fuck what your client says.

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And I'm like, uh, okay.

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And my mom and I are looking at

each other like, what the fuck?

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Like, what are we supposed

to do in this situation?

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So, I'm just like, I'm overruling you.

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And I put into the navigation,

like the closest emergency room.

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And my dad's like, I'm not

going to the fucking hospital.

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He's losing his mind.

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It's like you're trying to

take a toy away from a child.

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And we're just like, what the fuck?

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, So, we're driving down North Pointe

Parkway and we hear my dad's seatbelt

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unclick and my mom's like, Kenneth,

what are you doing back there?

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So she slows down a little, looks

over her shoulder, in time to

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see my dad jump out of the moving

vehicle onto North Pointe Parkway.

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And we're just like, oh

my god, what the fuck?

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The car behind us, like, slams down.

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Slams on their brakes and like honks, my

mom and my mom's like, oh fuck you, can't

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you tell I'm dealing with a crazy person?

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And I'm just like, oh my God.

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Like, okay.

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I was like, mom, there's an

office park right up here on

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the right, pull in there.

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So she pulls over and she's

like, can you see him?

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Is he okay?

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And I like, look behind

me and like, he's fine.

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He's just walking down the

sidewalk like something.

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And I'm just like, Oh my God, he's fine.

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And so we're just like, what do we do?

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What the fuck?

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I wish this had been recorded

because it sounds literally fake.

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It's so nuts.

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, and so my dad walks up to my mom's

window and like bangs on the window.

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And he's like, get out.

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I'm driving.

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And my mom's like, the fuck you are.

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Get in the back seat, you asshole.

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And so my dad gets in the back

seat and we just look at him like,

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bro, what just happened there?

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And he's just like, there's an urgent care

at the end of my street, I'll go there.

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And I'm just like, dad, that's so

inefficient, like, , my client said.

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We shouldn't go to urgent care.

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We need to go to the ER, da da da.

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And my mom's like, Oh, shut up, Erica.

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Can't you take a win when you get one?

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And I'm like, I don't think

inefficiency is a win.

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So then all of us are fighting

because I think this plan is dumb.

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I think this plan is a waste of time.

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And she and I are supposed to be

leaving at 5 AM the next morning

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to drive 18 hours to Cape Cod.

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Like the timing couldn't be

more inconvenient for us.

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You know what I mean?

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, and so I'm just like, what, whatever.

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So we go to urgent care.

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Of course, it's all like a digital

check in and stuff like that.

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And so , I'm like, Dad, give

me your insurance card and

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your ID and dah, dah, dah.

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Like, I'll handle this.

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So I get him registered or

whatever, and the doctor calls him

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back and my mom goes back with him.

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I wait in the lobby., So, they go

back there and the doctor says,

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What seems to be the problem?

380

:

And my dad's like, Oh, my idiot

daughter thinks I have a blood clot.

381

:

And the doctor's like, Alright, well,

let's go over some questions here.

382

:

, and he looks at my dad's ankle

and he's like, Well, this does

383

:

present as a possible blood clot.

384

:

Let me ask you a couple of questions.

385

:

, in the last two years, have you had

any, , operations or procedures?

386

:

My dad says, no.

387

:

My mom says, Kenneth, you idiot.

388

:

You had a heart attack last

year and had a stint put in.

389

:

And my dad was like, Oh yeah.

390

:

And the doctor's like, Oh my

God, like very interesting.

391

:

Okay.

392

:

That certainly increases the

likelihood of a blood clot.

393

:

, let me ask you, are you on any medication?

394

:

Oh yeah,

395

:

I just take whatever they give me.

396

:

And the doctor's like, does whatever they

give you have like a name or like a dosage

397

:

amount or like any fucking details at all?

398

:

And then my mom's like, Kenneth,

how do you not know what you take?

399

:

This is insane.

400

:

And so they have this wild thing

and the doctor's basically like,

401

:

well, I agree with your daughter.

402

:

This looks like it could possibly

be a blood clot, but we don't

403

:

have an ultrasound machine.

404

:

So you need to go to the hospital

and get an ultrasound done.

405

:

Kind of like I fucking said.

406

:

So they exit the back and i'm just

like We walk into the parking lot

407

:

together and I of course I know From

my mom sharing with me after the

408

:

fact what happened in that room.

409

:

But at this stage of things, I

don't know what was discussed.

410

:

So I'm just like, what did he say?

411

:

And my mom's like, well, he agrees

that this looks like it could

412

:

be a blood clot and that your

father should get an ultrasound.

413

:

And I'm like, okay, kind of

like I said, , so are we headed

414

:

to the hospital right now?

415

:

And my dad's like, I'm not

going to the fucking hospital.

416

:

And I'm like, well, wait a minute.

417

:

Did a doctor literally just tell you

that you should go to the hospital?

418

:

And, uh, Yeah.

419

:

He loses his mind.

420

:

So he's yelling at me in the middle

of this parking lot in the suburbs.

421

:

There's like families getting ice

cream, like, you know, like what

422

:

in the Jerry Springer is happening.

423

:

And I'm yelling back because I, for

all the times that I was a little

424

:

girl and my dad would yell at me

and I was like, too scared to say

425

:

anything, like, not anymore, sir.

426

:

Like you don't pay my bills.

427

:

You don't control me.

428

:

You're not going to talk to me that way.

429

:

, I'm not proud of the way I acted,

but if you heard the way he spoke

430

:

to me, you would understand.

431

:

, so he's like, I'm walking

home and I'm like, good.

432

:

I hope you get hit by a car.

433

:

And my mom's like, Jesus Christ.

434

:

And she's like, everybody

get in the fucking car.

435

:

So we get in the car, we drive the

three minutes back to my dad's house.

436

:

I get out of the car.

437

:

I don't go in and say goodbye to Luna.

438

:

I don't talk to my parents.

439

:

I just get in my car and I drive

straight to my mom's house.

440

:

And, on the way, I was like, okay,

, there's one move I have in this scenario.

441

:

, I'm going to call my brother.

442

:

Now my brother historically is not an

especially helpful person, , but he was

443

:

going to be the family member in town.

444

:

So if this was what we suspected

it was, I wanted him to be there.

445

:

In the loop on what was going on and

just know that my dad and I might need

446

:

help with, you know, transportation or

taking care of pets or like whatever.

447

:

, and my parents don't communicate, so

I knew they would not be calling him.

448

:

So I call him and we don't have a

super close relationship because he's

449

:

kind of an asshole with my brother.

450

:

, and I'm like, Hey, like.

451

:

I just want to fill you

in on what just happened.

452

:

Like dad's okay, but there's kind of

a question mark hanging in the air

453

:

about what's going on with his ankle.

454

:

And I just wanted to, to put you in the

loop in case your help may be needed.

455

:

My brother's response, fuck that he

did this to himself with that vaccine.

456

:

And I was like, what the COVID

vaccine, the one that there hasn't

457

:

been a booster for and over a year

has now magically given our father.

458

:

A blood clot?

459

:

And like, if dad had been smoking a

pack of Marlboros a day for 40 years

460

:

and got lung cancer, you wouldn't reply

like, fuck that, he did it to himself.

461

:

Like, what a wild place to take this.

462

:

So I was just like, whoa.

463

:

And I'm like, okay, so you're refusing to

help dad in a potential medical emergency

464

:

because he got the COVID vaccine.

465

:

And my brother said, yep.

466

:

And I was like, Awesome.

467

:

So I hang up the phone and I'm

like, Oh my God, my family's insane.

468

:

And there's just no amount of

therapy that will change that fact.

469

:

It's like, I can only change

the way I react to it.

470

:

And , I was just so disappointed and

like, I knew my brother was vaccinated

471

:

and , you know, obviously, uh, you know,

maybe nothing's obvious these days.

472

:

I don't fucking know.

473

:

It's not the path that I took, but I,

, just try to not get into it with him.

474

:

But I didn't realize kind of like how.

475

:

Deep the misinformation was to him.

476

:

So my mom comes back to her house.

477

:

We go inside and I tell her about

the phone call with my brother.

478

:

She tells me that dad agreed to go to his

primary care doctor on Monday morning.

479

:

Remember this is Saturday night.

480

:

This is all happening.

481

:

, and I'm just like, okay, but his

primary care doctor also doesn't

482

:

have an ultrasound machine.

483

:

So this is just like, he's just

delaying the inevitable, which is going

484

:

to the hospital for an ultrasound.

485

:

And my mom's like, Erica.

486

:

Yeah.

487

:

You see what we're dealing

with, with your father.

488

:

Like, just, this is the

best I could have done.

489

:

And I'm just like, okay, whatever.

490

:

, but I'm so stressed out at

this point that I'm just like,

491

:

I have got to smoke a joint.

492

:

And, uh, the way that some people

are like, God, I need a drink.

493

:

I was like, God, I need a joint.

494

:

So, I'm sitting on my mom's couch and

I'm like starting to roll a joint.

495

:

And she looks at me and she's like,

And where do you plan on smoking that?

496

:

And I was like, Don't

worry, I'm gonna go outside.

497

:

And she's like, Ah, you're gonna

get eaten by mosquitoes out there.

498

:

And I was like, What?

499

:

I'm like, Would you rather me

smoke it in your living room?

500

:

And she was like, Yes, let me get

you something to use as an ashtray.

501

:

And I was like, What the

fuck is happening right now?

502

:

So my mom goes into her kitchen and

she comes back with like a dinner bowl.

503

:

And she's like, Here you go.

504

:

And I'm like, Okay, so I'm soaking a

joint in my mom's living room dashing

505

:

into fiesta ware and we're talking

about how unhinged my dad is and

506

:

Then we go to sleep and get ready

to go on this trip the next day.

507

:

So my mom and I hit the road on Sunday.

508

:

, we drive from Atlanta and we make

it up to Pennsylvania and the next

509

:

day it was going to be Pennsylvania.

510

:

So, and that would be Monday, the

day my dad is supposed to be going

511

:

to see his primary care doctor.

512

:

And we had a goal of having

pizza in New Haven for lunch.

513

:

, and we went to Pepe's,

which is like world famous.

514

:

And I'm sorry, I just want to put

all of you New Haveners on blast.

515

:

That pizza fucking sucks.

516

:

It sucks.

517

:

I looked like a child coal

miner when I was done eating it.

518

:

I mean, I'm like, my

hands are covered in soot.

519

:

It was not good at all.

520

:

I do not understand.

521

:

There was a line around the block.

522

:

People are obsessed and I just, I'm sorry.

523

:

Sucks.

524

:

Sucks.

525

:

, so, anyways.

526

:

We're driving after our pizza, and my

dad calls and says, , Well, I just left

527

:

my primary care, and he says, It looks

like it could be a blood clot, but he

528

:

doesn't have an ultrasound machine.

529

:

So he wrote me an order to go to

the hospital to get an ultrasound,

530

:

and it says, And we're like, really?

531

:

And I was just like, kind

of like I said I would.

532

:

And my mom's like, shh.

533

:

And she's like, that's great,

Kenneth, you keep us posted.

534

:

And I'm just like, oh my god.

535

:

So a couple hours later he calls us.

536

:

My mom answers and I can hear

through the phone that my dad

537

:

says, no blood clot, bitches!

538

:

And we're like, really?

539

:

It's like the only time good news is

bad, because now you know in the future,

540

:

if there's another medical issue,

he's gonna be like, Oh, remember when

541

:

you told me I had a fake blood clot?

542

:

Uh, I'm not going to the fucking doctor.

543

:

And so, we're like, oh my gosh.

544

:

And so my mom's like,

that's wonderful news, Ken.

545

:

What is it?

546

:

And he's like, I don't know.

547

:

And she's like, well tell me.

548

:

And he's like, no, have a good trip.

549

:

And he hangs up the phone.

550

:

We're just like, Oh my God.

551

:

So at least from there, we're like, all

right, he doesn't have , a big book lot.

552

:

We can enjoy the rest of our trip.

553

:

Oh

554

:

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555

:

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556

:

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557

:

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558

:

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559

:

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560

:

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561

:

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562

:

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563

:

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564

:

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565

:

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566

:

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567

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568

:

That's Hey butterfly, studio.com and just

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569

:

So we had a great time in Cape Cod.

570

:

We went from Cape Cod to Portland,

Maine, from Portland, Maine to

571

:

Bar Harbor, Maine, and then drove

all the way back to Atlanta.

572

:

So there was lots of car time.

573

:

, but it was honestly like

the weather was wonderful.

574

:

The scenery was great.

575

:

The lobster rolls were good.

576

:

, and like on our second to last day in Bar

Harbor, , Well, we had been doing like

577

:

a lot of antiquing, like I love antique

shopping and going to just like thrift

578

:

stores and antique stores and like all

of that stuff, especially in that area.

579

:

I don't know.

580

:

It just feels like cooler.

581

:

, so we're in this antique

store and I find this bowl.

582

:

It's a nesting bowl set of Pyrex.

583

:

They're like pink and white, gorgeous.

584

:

And , immediately my eye was caught

and I was like, I have to have these.

585

:

And, I look at the price.

586

:

They're 325 for four mixing bowls.

587

:

And I was like, you are out of your mind.

588

:

And this place like this old

barn on the side of the road

589

:

that just was like antiques open.

590

:

Like it was like a no frills situation.

591

:

And there were a couple of pieces of art

there that I was really interested in, but

592

:

they were all, Unbelievably overpriced.

593

:

So in my mind I was like, okay,

these bowls are also overpriced.

594

:

I'm sure I can get them online.

595

:

So I leave empty handed

and then cell service up.

596

:

There's a little spotty.

597

:

So we got back to the hotel room

with wifi and I start searching for

598

:

these bowls and I find that I can

buy them online for four, five, Six,

599

:

seven hundred dollars for the set.

600

:

It's the most sought after

Pyrex pattern that exists.

601

:

And I was like, God damn it.

602

:

Like having expensive taste in a good

eye just is a struggle of my life.

603

:

, so I'm like, fuck, I've like given

up such a big opportunity here.

604

:

And I try to find this antique store

again, but we're leaving the next day.

605

:

They're closed the next day.

606

:

And there's just no, like, So, we weave

down the east coast, popping into all

607

:

of these different antique stores.

608

:

, and I walk in, I'm like, Hi, do

you have that Pyrex Cinderella

609

:

nesting bowl set in Gooseberry?

610

:

And they're like, Ha!

611

:

Fat chance, bitch.

612

:

, like, you're never gonna see those.

613

:

And they're like, if we get them

in, they're gone immediately.

614

:

, and I'm like, God damn it.

615

:

So, I casually mention to my mom,

like, you know, I know dad has no

616

:

intention of apologizing to me for

the way he spoke to me before we left,

617

:

but if he wants to apologize via these

Pyrex bowls, I am available for that.

618

:

And also, like I mentioned, like

we were gone for my birthday,

619

:

, which is also my dad's birthday.

620

:

, so, , once we had been back, my

dad sent me a text with like a

621

:

link to the, the bowls on eBay and

he was like, Do you want these?

622

:

I'll buy them for you.

623

:

And I was like, yes, I do.

624

:

So the silver lining, happy ending ish

thing there was that I got my bowls.

625

:

So

626

:

I get back in town and, have a date.

627

:

Now this is somebody I haven't mentioned,

, cause he was not worth mentioning.

628

:

, but I had been casually.

629

:

Dating this guy and, Kind of

intentionally casual, right?

630

:

Like I had, I was still processing the

Archer stuff, so I wasn't really super

631

:

available for anything of substance.

632

:

, and quite frankly, nothing

ruins a relationship with a

633

:

man like getting to know him.

634

:

And so I had kind of

intentionally kept things light.

635

:

, but it was a kind of a perfect situation.

636

:

I never put in any effort.

637

:

I never texted first.

638

:

I never called first.

639

:

I never paid a bill.

640

:

Like it was, uh, Honestly, perfect.

641

:

, so I've been seeing this guy

once a week, once every other

642

:

week for the past couple months.

643

:

And after we got back in town, , from

our trip, it was Labor Day weekend

644

:

and he and I had a date planned.

645

:

So a little backstory on this guy, , let's

see, I'm going to have to use fake names.

646

:

Let me give him a fake name.

647

:

Okay.

648

:

So we're going to call him Chris.

649

:

So Chris went to Northwestern on a

football scholarship, got a business

650

:

degree, works for Wayfair, , drives

a new Tesla, which this is not me,

651

:

like, Implying that that's good.

652

:

I just want to paint the picture of

what type of person he is, right?

653

:

Kind of a douche.

654

:

But he's a nice guy.

655

:

, he used to live in those apartments

on Cheshire bridge that burnt down.

656

:

, and when they burnt down, he

moved in with his brother and his

657

:

brother's girlfriend, and they live

kind of North of Stone Mountain.

658

:

So like not inside the perimeter.

659

:

But one thing about me is if

I'm casually dating a person, I

660

:

do not Invite them to my home.

661

:

So I've only ever gone out there, but his

brother and his brother's girlfriend, they

662

:

like to spend their weekends in Athens.

663

:

And so very regularly it would be like,

hey, My brother and his girlfriend are

664

:

out, you know, like let's grab a drink

or whatever and got the house to myself.

665

:

Wonderful.

666

:

Okay, so that was kind of the vibe.

667

:

I had never met them and I

never wanted to meet them.

668

:

So anyways, liberty weekend, we have a

date and it's like very fun and I was

669

:

driving home and I'm like, you know, I

have this guy very tightly packed into

670

:

a specific box, but I just have this

moment of like, am I selling myself short?

671

:

Like this is kind of like, there's a

lot of good things here, even though

672

:

he's really not my type at all.

673

:

He has a widow's peak that he shaves,

which is just like an immediate no.

674

:

So, but I'm driving home and I

think I Again, intentionally, I

675

:

don't know a ton about this guy.

676

:

So let me do a little like reconnaissance

work and see if I can find his

677

:

social media or find out more about

him and see if he's like the type

678

:

of person that I would want to date,

like with any sort of seriousness.

679

:

, so I start Googling and I'm like, you

know, So, Chris, Northwestern, Wayfair,

680

:

like all the buzzwords that I know.

681

:

But nothing's coming up.

682

:

But there's also a million Chrises,

so that's not really crazy.

683

:

, and so I think, ooh, let me pull the

property records for his brother's house.

684

:

And then from there, I can find

his brother's social media.

685

:

And then from there, I can

find Chris's social media.

686

:

So, I pull the property records for the

house, and I see that the house is in

687

:

the name of, , Richard and Sarah Souza.

688

:

And I'm like, okay, great.

689

:

So, I go onto Facebook, and

I'm like, Richard Souza.

690

:

And I'm scrolling through the

profiles, and one catches my eye.

691

:

So I click on it, and I zoom in on

the main picture, and I see a picture.

692

:

Of Chris with a wedding ring on.

693

:

And I was like, fuck, fuck.

694

:

And then I had this brief moment

of like, maybe he's a twin.

695

:

He's not a twin.

696

:

So I do some more research and what I

realize is that Chris doesn't exist.

697

:

Chris is Richard who has created

an entirely fake identity.

698

:

kind of custom made for someone

like me to be attracted to.

699

:

So Chris is married to Sarah,

who is an overnight nurse.

700

:

So instead of the brother and

girlfriend being out of town in

701

:

Athens for the weekends, this lady

is like working hospital shifts

702

:

and I am in her fucking house.

703

:

So I freak out and I'm like, Oh my God.

704

:

And luckily I'm a member of, , you

may have heard of those groups, are

705

:

we dating the same guy on Facebook?

706

:

And so I post his whole fucking picture

and I say, Hey ladies, , I just found

707

:

out the guy I've been seeing for the

past couple of months is married.

708

:

He told me his name was Chris, but it's

Richard, , posting to warn other women

709

:

and to try to find his wife, Sarah.

710

:

Um, I get at this point, there's

like over 60 comments in this thread.

711

:

Oh my God.

712

:

He told me his name was this.

713

:

He told me his name was this.

714

:

I met him here.

715

:

I met him here.

716

:

I met him here.

717

:

Please DM me.

718

:

Please DM me.

719

:

Please DM me.

720

:

I'm an investigative journalist.

721

:

Please DM me and I'll give

you all the wife's info.

722

:

And I'm like, Oh my God.

723

:

Oh my God.

724

:

Oh my God.

725

:

Then I start panicking.

726

:

Like this guy is a professional, con man.

727

:

I feel so grossed out.

728

:

And so I messaged the first

girl and I'm like, Hey, like,

729

:

what's the story with Chris?

730

:

And she's like, Oh my God, I met

him in:

731

:

he was married and he robbed me.

732

:

I had to file a police report.

733

:

Eventually I got my stuff

back, but , he's a bad guy.

734

:

Stay away from him.

735

:

And I'm like, Oh my God.

736

:

And she's like, I told the

wife, she knows what he is like.

737

:

Don't waste your time with her.

738

:

She's fucking worthless.

739

:

And I'm like, Oh my God.

740

:

And so another girl's like,

Oh my God, he goes to my gym.

741

:

I've never had a single

conversation with him in my life.

742

:

, but he like follows me on Instagram.

743

:

He's just like the weird guy at my

gym that follows me on Instagram.

744

:

And I was like, Oh my God, I've

been trying to find his Instagram.

745

:

Will you send it to me?

746

:

So she sends me his Instagram and

I realized he's already found all

747

:

of my social media and blocked

me so that I could never come up.

748

:

Like this guy is a professional.

749

:

So at this point I'm like, okay,

you've got to be kidding me.

750

:

I've, I've also spoken to

the investigative journalist.

751

:

, she has like pulled this lady's

like nursing license number.

752

:

She's given me multiple phone numbers

and emails and contact information.

753

:

And so I feel like I have

the information I need.

754

:

So the next morning, Labor Day, , I

sent him a text and I was like,

755

:

Hey, can I ask you a question?

756

:

And he's like, of course, babe, what's up?

757

:

And I was like, are you married?

758

:

And the text bubble pops up and

goes away and pops up and goes away.

759

:

And he replies.

760

:

Yes, I am.

761

:

And I was like, well, that was easy.

762

:

, so I said, thanks for your honesty.

763

:

, anything else you care to share?

764

:

And he says, you're welcome.

765

:

I apologize for not

disclosing that sooner.

766

:

And I was like, yeah, you obviously

weren't going to disclose this.

767

:

I was like, you are disgusting.

768

:

And I was like, does your

wife know that you do this?

769

:

And he said, no, she doesn't.

770

:

And I said, she's about to,

and he said, I understand.

771

:

I'm so sorry.

772

:

I've recently been diagnosed with a sexual

addiction and I am getting treatment.

773

:

And I'm like, bitch, I was at your house.

774

:

18 hours ago, like, no, you're not

like, and I call such bullshit on that.

775

:

, and I was like, all right,

buddy, here's the deal.

776

:

Obviously I need to get an STD test.

777

:

You're going to be paying for that.

778

:

You're also going to reimburse

me for every fucking drop of gas

779

:

that I've spent going to and fro.

780

:

And then you're going to put a little

sprinkle, sprinkle on top of that number.

781

:

And if I'm happy with it,

I will leave you alone.

782

:

And if I'm not, you're going to

regret ever fucking meeting me.

783

:

And he's like, I understand.

784

:

I'm so sorry.

785

:

So I send him my Venmo and

then he Venmo's me five.

786

:

Hundred.

787

:

So I'm like, 500 LOL?

788

:

You're missing a zero, bitch.

789

:

Game on.

790

:

So then, I text his wife.

791

:

And I said, Hi Sarah, , hate to

be texting with bad news, but

792

:

I've been dating your husband.

793

:

I literally just found out that

he's like, created an entirely false

794

:

identity and is actually married.

795

:

I'm , So sorry, but as a girl's girl,

obviously I had to let you know.

796

:

, I'm happy to answer any questions

you have about details or

797

:

timeline or anything like that.

798

:

And again, I'm just so sorry.

799

:

, so she writes back, thanks

for letting me know.

800

:

, right now I'm just in shock because

he's been in treatment for years.

801

:

for sexual addiction and he hasn't

relapsed in over a year and I said You

802

:

should know that I posted about this on

a Facebook group and there's over 60

803

:

replies He's been doing this your entire

marriage certainly including the last

804

:

year , and I was like, you need to know

that I've been in your house like a lot.

805

:

And she was like, honestly, I just

can't have this messing with my work.

806

:

And I was like, well, that's something

I'd probably take up with your husband.

807

:

And then this time I'm just like,

this is not how a normal girl

808

:

responds to something like this.

809

:

So I'm texting with a friend

of mine on the side and they're

810

:

like, well, hold on if she works

overnights, how is she available

811

:

to be responding to you right now?

812

:

Are you sure it's not him on her phone

or like a family iPad or something

813

:

like that doing damage control?

814

:

And I was like, Oh, Oh

my God, I'm not sure.

815

:

And I go back and I like look at my

text with her and like the verbage

816

:

and cadence of speech and like all of

that is like the same as texting him.

817

:

And I was like, Oh my God, Oh my God.

818

:

So I said, Sarah, If this is you,

I need you to do me a favor and I

819

:

need you to take a selfie holding

up three fingers in front of the

820

:

strawberry painting in your kitchen.

821

:

And she writes back and says,

I'm not going to fucking do that.

822

:

I'm a victim in this too.

823

:

Da da da da da.

824

:

And I was like, boom.

825

:

And I was like, that's

what I fucking thought.

826

:

And then I get a response.

827

:

And it's a selfie of her holding

up three fingers in front

828

:

of the strawberry painting.

829

:

It was her.

830

:

She just fucking sucks.

831

:

And I'm like, Oh my God.

832

:

And I was like, holy shit.

833

:

And she was like, I'm

fucking black and gay.

834

:

And I was like, that's fine.

835

:

I was like, whatever you do with

this information is up to you.

836

:

I just had to make sure that

I was getting it to you.

837

:

Wishing you happiness and healing.

838

:

So then I stopped corresponding

with her and then I re download the

839

:

app that I had met him on and , of

course we're not matched anymore.

840

:

And so I reach out to them

and I'm like, Hey, can This

841

:

is the experience I just had.

842

:

I don't know if you can pull up my past

matches, but this guy's a predator.

843

:

Da da da da.

844

:

And they're like, Oh my gosh,

thank you for letting us know.

845

:

We found his profile and disabled it.

846

:

, we take these things very seriously.

847

:

, of course, if he gets another phone

number, like we wouldn't know, but

848

:

.

We've deleted what we have access to.

849

:

So I was like, cool.

850

:

Thanks.

851

:

Then I emailed the chief of

police for Gwinnett County.

852

:

And I said, Hey, you have a citizen

named this with this phone number with

853

:

this address, who has been up to this.

854

:

I don't know if like an actual

crime has been committed yet.

855

:

Although he did rob one of the

victims in:

856

:

report, but should this escalate

as these things tend to do, I would

857

:

like for there to be a paper trail.

858

:

Now, of course they have

not written back to me.

859

:

They're probably busy like giving him the

keys to the city, like this fucking guy.

860

:

Um, but I had to like, I had to, and then

the last message I sent was to my lawyer

861

:

and I'm like, , what are my options here?

862

:

, cause I didn't consent

to anything with Richard.

863

:

, I've never heard of Richard

until, you know what I mean?

864

:

, and so he's like, well, it's

kind of hard to prove damages.

865

:

, but.

866

:

If your STD test comes back

with something, then we

867

:

absolutely like can, yes.

868

:

, but of course the goal

is to not have an STD.

869

:

So alas, my tests have come

back clean and I am good to go.

870

:

But, , that is the craziest fucking

dating situation I have ever been in.

871

:

And that says a lot.

872

:

So I am officially in my,

um, Fuck that shit era.

873

:

So the next person I date is going to

have to be like an in person connection

874

:

with, it comes with like multiple

referral sources and people vouching

875

:

for them because I can fucking not.

876

:

, so that happened and then, you

know, it's election season.

877

:

I've got some business moves I'm making.

878

:

Things have been busy, but all in all,

I can say with confidence that Luna

879

:

and I both are past that first kind

of big block of our grieving journey.

880

:

, as you heard, just talking about it

earlier in this episode, it's still

881

:

deeply emotional and upsetting for me

to talk about what happened with Archer.

882

:

I still think about him literally

every second of every day.

883

:

, and I will be processing

this, I think forever.

884

:

It is not easy.

885

:

, but I, I'm able to like, Engage

with life again in the way that I

886

:

want to, , I've got a big trip that

I'm planning in January that I'll

887

:

share more about in another episode.

888

:

, and I've got lots of fun things

in the works for you listeners.

889

:

, including my next episode that

will be out about the salmon

890

:

industry, very intriguing.

891

:

, so.

892

:

That is my story of where I've

been, where I had gone, why I

893

:

was absent, and how I am back.

894

:

, thank you so much for listening.

895

:

I, it feels good to be

back up here, reengaged.

896

:

, I hope all of you have had a

better summer and year than I have.

897

:

, And if you haven't already get out there

and vote, , early and in person is ideal.

898

:

And, , yeah, thank you so much

for listening as always Clover

899

:

club listeners get 10 percent

off at Hawkins and clover.

900

:

com with code Clover club, all caps.

901

:

And I will look forward

to hearing you next week.

902

:

Goodbye.

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About the Podcast

Clover Club
Curious conversations and stories intended to make you laugh and learn.
As a shop owner and hair stylist with an impressive number of stamps on her passport, Erika Audrey has heard or experienced it all. And she's ready to share. These real life conversations and stories will make you laugh, cry, and gasp- sometimes in the same episode! Join Erika Audrey straight from Atlanta gift shop Hawkins & Clover. Welcome to Clover Club.

Thank you-
Theme Song: Nick Pantano of Sound Space https://www.soundspaceatl.com
Branding: Shari Margolin https://sharimargolindesignco.com

Contact-
pod@hawkinsandclover.com

About your host

Profile picture for Erika Audrey

Erika Audrey

Erika Audrey, a luminous presence hailing from the vibrant city of Atlanta, Georgia, is not your ordinary hairstylist and boutique owner. With a zest for life that's as contagious as her laughter, Erika is poised to take the podcasting world by storm as she embarks on her latest venture.

Launching her debut podcast is a natural extension of Erika's multifaceted personality. With an uncanny ability to seamlessly weave humor into her conversations, Erika's laughter-inducing anecdotes and razor-sharp wit are bound to captivate listeners. Her intelligence shines through as she tackles a diverse range of topics, proving that beneath the laughter lies substance and insight.