Girl Money: Part 1

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welcome to Clover club, a podcast

about curious conversations and stories

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intended to make you laugh and learn.

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I'm your host, Erica.

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And.

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Whew.

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Let me tell you what today's guest is

a huge deal, because this is the first

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time I've had to have compliance.

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So today I'm beyond excited to

welcome my financial advisor, Lauren.

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It ends Lauren.

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Hi.

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Hi, thank you so much for

coming on Clover club.

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So excited to be here.

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It is a huge honor because I am.

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Very passionate about the importance.

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Uh, saving and investing,

but making it fun because.

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I think there's a big, , perception

that investing and money is scary

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and not anything that people

want to spend their time on.

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And I really do try to make

it fun and interesting.

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Yes.

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, I kind of want to start this

whole conversation with how

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Lauren and I became acquainted.

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, it's a cautionary tale and

unfortunately it's my cautionary tale.

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So , if you're listening, you know,

that I'm a hairdresser and for

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the first portion of my career,

I worked at I'm received tips.

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And so I had stockpiled a lot of cash.

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, I had a shoe box that I cut a hole in

the top of a duct tape, the lid to you.

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And I would just squirrel away cash.

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Anytime I got an unexpectedly big

tip or like a birthday, something or

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whatever, for years and years and years.

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And so I got to my mid twenties,

I had just broken off an

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engagement with my shitty fiance.

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, and I was like, okay, I gotta

like start doing grownup stuff.

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And so one of my friend's older brothers.

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Was a air quotes, financial advisor.

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And, uh, I met with him to talk

about how to invest my money.

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And he very confidently took me

under his wing and had a plan.

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And so me and my little shoe

box that had $10,000 in it.

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Went to a Wells Fargo and I

opened up this account with

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him, , over the course of several.

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Cool.

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I don't even, I don't know if you

remember how many years Lauren.

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Years and years and years, I was

investing hundreds of dollars

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a month into this account.

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And.

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I was like in my mind, set it

and forget it type of situation.

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And it was an auto-draft.

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I didn't look into it.

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And so then one day I was like,

I wonder how that account's

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doing it was around COVID.

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That's what it was.

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Cause that was like, I'm

running through my savings.

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, what's going on here?

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What's the penalty to

access this dah, dah, dah.

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And so I find that the balance of the

account is like, Fucking crickets.

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And I was like, this is

something is wrong here.

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, and that's when I started to

find out that I had been the.

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, victim of quite the little scam, , but

technically a totally legal scam.

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, I was Preyed upon by this man who knew

that I was just like, I'm just a girl.

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, I don't know what I'm doing.

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And he's like, I know what

to do with this money.

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, and so from there I was expressing

to a client like I'm just devastated.

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This is like tens of

thousands of dollars gone.

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, what do I do?

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And she was like, oh, you've

got to talk to my girl, Laura.

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And she will straighten all of this out.

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And that's when I got in

touch with you, Lauren.

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And that's when we started to untangle

this just, I don't even want to

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get into the details, but like just

this very unfortunate situation.

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And so, uh, we did the best we could

and transferred all of that under your

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tutelage, and then started actual,

real financial planning together.

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And, uh, here we are.

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Here we are.

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And you still have that

old investment product.

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And it will be with us for about

another year and a half before

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we can do anything with it.

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Yeah, I just,

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,

I think this happens all day every day, and you probably see this a lot

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and have people come to you that are

like, oh my gosh, , what do I do?

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, And if you're listening, you're

probably thinking, surely it

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wasn't the paperwork you signed.

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Of course it wasn't the paperwork

I signed, but I was 26 years old.

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And this guy, who's friends with

my brother, he's like meet me at

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Starbucks and we'll handle it.

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And I trusted him and, uh, So I

think kind of one of the underlying

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theme today is why it's so important.

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To have a financial advisor and to

partner with somebody who you trust

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and somebody who looks at money and

growing money, the same way that you do.

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And, uh, Lauren, you like immediately

after our first conversation, I was

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like, oh, she's like gonna enjoy an

weaving this, or maybe enjoy is not

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the word, but , I could just tell that

you're like, oh, we're gonna, , we're

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gonna get to the bottom of this.

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And we did, and I feel so much better

and I did lose tens of thousands of

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dollars, but it's better to do that

in your twenties than in your fifties.

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So I feel like I learned a huge lesson.

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And on today's episode, I want to kind

of share a lot of what I've learned

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and a lot of your expertise Lauren, so

that people don't end up, , either in a

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situation like I was in or in a situation

where you're just not growing your money

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and you're leaving money on the table.

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, so yeah.

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I think there's risk involved in

absolutely everything and people, a lot

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of times are worried about investing

their money and losing all of it.

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The stock market never goes to zero.

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I mean, can't guarantee that.

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But historically it's never gone to zero.

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What has happened?

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Is people run out of their money

because they haven't saved enough

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or they spend too much for the

amount that they have saved.

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And not as also a very real concern.

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And your situation was one where

you essentially were in something

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illiquid, something not accessible.

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You couldn't make changes.

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There were internal

expenses that were secret.

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And that essentially ate up all of

the money that you were putting in..

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Probably the extent of what we

can get into about that situation.

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Um, so question for you.

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I know that it was a friend's brother.

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How many questions did

you ask him going into it?

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Um, I would say, I asked the questions

that made sense for me to ask as

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a 26 year old with no experience.

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, and I also knew that I had other

friends that were investing with him.

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And so there was just sort of a, I

absolutely went in with blind trust.

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So it's not that I didn't ask questions,

but I just believed everything.

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And I didn't ask maybe.

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I didn't probe him and

I didn't know, maybe.

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The right questions to ask.

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We don't know what we don't know.

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Yeah.

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I definitely didn't

know what I didn't know.

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And in hindsight, all of the friends

I knew that were also investing

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with him had similar experiences.

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Um, so it wasn't just me.

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I mean, this was a very

well-organized thing and I reported

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him to what's the like licensing

committee or like what's the.

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Governed by a whole lot of people,

but there's the sec there's FINRA.

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The sec, I'd definitely set a

letter to, , I sent a letter

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to , , compliance for it's Wells Fargo.

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I'm not going to name him, but I'll

definitely name that as Wells Fargo.

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, and I, nobody cared.

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Because technically everything

that he did was above board, it

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was just, he, he dipped his feet.

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Real close to the line.

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So.

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Trust is I think one of the most critical

parts of this business, because every

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advisor is going to run their practice a

bit differently and they're allowed to,

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as long as they fall within what is legal

and what their firm's compliance allows.

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Yeah.

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And that is one of the beauties

of the business, but that's also

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something that you, as the client.

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I have to be smart about when entering

a relationship and really doing

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that due diligence and having a.

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Sometimes multiple conversations with

a potential new advisor to understand,

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well, how do they run their business?

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What do they like?

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What do they believe in?

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Are they a good fit for you?

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Do they have experience with people?

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Of your similar situation, you know,

and that can be young professionals

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that can be small business owners.

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That can be, you know, Hey, I'm

approaching maybe closer to middle

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age and I've got a spouse and a baby,

and I haven't done anything yet.

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What now?

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You know, everyone's

situation is different.

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And there's going to be an

advisor for you, but not every

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advisor is going to be a good fit.

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Yeah.

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That makes a lot of sense.

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And I think too, , Looking back.

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I would say I should have trusted my

gut because I do remember thinking

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it's weird that we're meeting at

a coffee shop and not your office.

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I don't like coffee shops, because

the essence of what we do is tell me

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how much money you have or don't have.

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And tell me where it is and tell

me how you spend your money.

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These are very personal,

intimate questions.

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I wouldn't feel comfortable having

that conversation in a coffee shop.

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I didn't and I just, at the

time I was like, oh, I guess

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this is what you do, you know?

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But, uh, but I, I, I do

remember a little like, Hmm.

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But I overrode it because of

all of these other things.

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So I would say even if you can't

justify why something feels off.

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Let yourself explore that.

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I so, one of the things that I would

say is trust your gut instinct.

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And I don't know if that's a female

thing, woman to woman, we kind of

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have a strong intuition there or men.

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I hope you to check in with yourself and

feel like you're making good decisions.

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But this is a person you were

completely trusting with,

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presumably most of your money.

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Yeah.

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Do you like this person?

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What kind of feelings do they give you?

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Are they, , Validating your questions

and concerns, or are they telling you?

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Don't worry.

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A little lady I've got this.

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You don't need to know the why.

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Yes.

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I personally feel strongly

about educating my clients.

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It is okay.

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If you come to me and say, I don't

know what is up and what is down.

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And I have a lot of stupid questions

because no questions are stupid

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and I love the education part of

it, because if you understand what

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we're doing and why that's going to

empower you to make better decisions.

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. And, , you know, in my highly regulated

industry, I do constant continuing

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education and things like that.

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And in some of the classes,

they'll say, you know, how strong

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opinion to be a powerful leader.

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I don't necessarily agree with that.

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I think that with my personal business

model, it is a collaborative relationship.

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I'm going to present

information to you and say, Hey.

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I think we're facing some

potential recession because of

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the fed raising interest rates.

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These are two possible

ways that that could go.

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How do you feel about that?

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I can't dictate that

there's only one right.

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Decision for you.

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, because this is an art.

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We make educated guesstimates.

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And it's important to remember that.

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All investing is going to involve

some risk, and I want you to be

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comfortable with what risk we are

taking and what we're giving up.

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And even on the side of, if we do

something that is more guaranteed.

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You're going to give up return potential.

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And that might be just fine.

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And if that is what fits for you.

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Perfect.

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But we always have to understand there

is a trade off to absolutely everything.

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Yeah.

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You.

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Uh, immediately, I felt comfortable

with you because you are.

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And that's why I wanted

to be on this podcast.

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Is that you're you obviously love

this and you obviously think about

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this so much, and we've had earnings

calls where you're going to so

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much detail and I'm with Lauren.

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I don't know.

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But I feel like I trust.

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Um, I, what I say to you so many

times, I feel like it's like, what

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would you do if it was your money?

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And, uh, I'm like, I'll do that.

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Yeah, and I do.

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I mean, I, I manage my own money.

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I invest in the majority of the

investments that I recommend to clients.

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I'm pretty high growth.

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So that might be the only area

where if someone's like, Let's

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dial it back a little bit.

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Okay.

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Maybe I don't own that

particular strategy, but.

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, You put your money where you put

your money, where your mouth is?

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Yeah, absolutely.

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Lauren, you started in this industry.

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Through birth.

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So your dad.

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Does he do exactly what you do.

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Will you tell us a little bit about your

background and how you got to be here?

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Cause I feel like I've got them have

made an impact on your ideology.

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Yeah.

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So I took a different path to become, I

mean, so technically a financial advisor.

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I think that's a boring term.

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I prefer wealth strategist.

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Ooh, I like that.

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How do we strategize to either get

you wealthy or keep you wealthy?

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, but coming out of high school, I went

into college with a communications focus.

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, and graduated with a degree in

public relations and advertising.

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More on the public relations side.

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, and I did that for about seven years.

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And enjoyed the relationship aspect

of what I was doing, but I kind of

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topped out on my career path there.

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I was working for a law farm

and as a non lawyer, you can't

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be a partner in a law firm.

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And it was like, well, what next I'm

in my twenties, there has to be more.

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My dad has been an advisor with Raymond

James, since my mom was pregnant.

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Whoa.

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So literally I grew up in this business

and my dad really enjoyed what he did.

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Uh, I was fortunate enough

that he was home for family

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dinners almost every night.

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And he talked about work and he talked

about it really positively and he

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opened an investment account for me.

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And we would physically graph

it and color in a bar chart

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with the monthly statements.

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And, you know, Asked you this.

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Most months the money would grow.

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And then there were months and there

were years that the money didn't grow.

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And we talked about that.

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And then as I got a lot older,

that became a conversation around.

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You know, this money is a powerful gift.

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What are you going to do with it?

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You can use it for college.

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You can have a lengthy college stay and

there's not going to be any money left

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or you can be focused and maybe there's

something to help you buy a house.

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Ooh.

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, and I think empowering others to make

decisions through education, kind of

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going back to what I said about, I really

believe in the education around it.

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Yeah.

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Is important.

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And so I got my act together.

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I graduated college a little bit

early and I was fortunate enough

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to use a little bit of leftover

and I bought a condo for myself.

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And it provided.

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Stability in my life when I

really, really needed it coming

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out of a pretty bad relationship.

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And, , also a job change.

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I had been laid off and feeling

like I'm questioning myself.

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Am I good enough?

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, I went to college out of state.

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I had moved back to Atlanta.

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Didn't have a lot of friends and,

and it was a big, whoa, what now?

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Moment and having, sorry, what

age did that happen around.

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, I think I was 25.

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Okay.

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Yup.

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So out of college for just a couple of

years, doing all the right things got

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laid off, regardless because it was 2008.

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Mm.

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There it is.

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I mean, not a particularly unique

story, but that having that condo.

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Gave me a sense of re roof over my

head, and I can try to find myself

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and I did not have furniture for the

longest time and my best friend, Mandy.

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I finally looked at me and said, I'm tired

of sitting on the floor, watching TV.

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Yeah.

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We have to go get a account.

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We have to.

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And he couch he'll do.

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And I still have that couch.

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It actually has such strong emotional

ties and it is a beat up old couch

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and I just can't get rid of it.

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I love it.

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Is it your.

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, like living room couch now,

or is that like, it is the

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prominent living room couch.

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: 00:15:54

That's awesome.

328

: 00:15:56

Oh, I love that story.

329

: 00:15:57

, so long story short on, well, how did I

arrive at becoming a wealth strategist

330

: 00:16:01

is I had been through a couple of job

changes, but it was all in communications.

331

: 00:16:06

And I thought I've done this route.

332

: 00:16:08

What is next?

333

: 00:16:10

And my dad loved what he did and I

thought it would be, I love my dad and

334

: 00:16:16

we have a really good relationship.

335

: 00:16:17

What an amazing opportunity.

336

: 00:16:19

If I could spend more time with him,

I mean, on a daily basis, get to

337

: 00:16:22

be there and working alongside him.

338

: 00:16:25

So I had to go through the

full formal interview process,

339

: 00:16:30

testings, this and that.

340

: 00:16:32

, and I got hired.

341

: 00:16:33

Had to pass several exams.

342

: 00:16:36

, I mean, I was pretty much the

first three, four months of

343

: 00:16:39

nothing, but studying and exams.

344

: 00:16:42

And then they set you loose

under dad's careful wing.

345

: 00:16:46

And just learning, learning, learning,

sitting in on meetings, daring

346

: 00:16:51

to tip my toe into conversations.

347

: 00:16:53

You get a little bit more confident

and then the baby bird starts flying

348

: 00:16:57

from branch to branch and then one day.

349

: 00:17:00

They set sail.

350

: 00:17:01

And they fly on their own.

351

: 00:17:03

This is beautiful.

352

: 00:17:04

Yeah.

353

: 00:17:04

And dad, dad and I still work

together, but, , I kind of

354

: 00:17:07

run the day-to-day business.

355

: 00:17:09

That's amazing.

356

: 00:17:10

, I feel like I can really

relate to that story.

357

: 00:17:12

And I'm glad I asked you that

because Lauren and I, this is

358

: 00:17:14

actually the first time Lauren and

I have actually met each other.

359

: 00:17:16

So all of our work has been

done on phone calls and emails.

360

: 00:17:19

So, , you know, and those don't

include like, how do I get started?

361

: 00:17:22

So I love having this human

conversation with you.

362

: 00:17:25

But I kind of similarly my dad, , actually

both my parents were in the beauty

363

: 00:17:30

industry and I was like, I'm going to

be a lawyer and then decided no on that.

364

: 00:17:34

But they had saved a college fund

and it was like, Hey, like this is

365

: 00:17:38

money that we've set aside for you.

366

: 00:17:39

If, you know, use it wisely.

367

: 00:17:41

This is what you're getting.

368

: 00:17:42

And so I decided to go to trade school

and then use the balance of that college

369

: 00:17:45

fund to buy a conduit 21, which now

is my greatest asset and the security.

370

: 00:17:50

I think there's something especially

about being a young woman.

371

: 00:17:53

Knowing, like, no matter what

happens, I have a roof over my head.

372

: 00:17:57

, I know so many people don't have that

privilege and it really empowered me

373

: 00:18:01

to try new things and kind of be bold

with my career and grow in a direction

374

: 00:18:06

that if I was struggling to just.

375

: 00:18:08

Pay my rent and all that

I wouldn't be able to do.

376

: 00:18:10

And so, uh, I think, especially if

you're listening with kids, being

377

: 00:18:15

able to set your kids up for future

securities and successes at whatever

378

: 00:18:19

scale you're able to is so important.

379

: 00:18:22

, and that's part of the reasons

I don't want kids cause.

380

: 00:18:24

Worry about anybody

else's success with mine.

381

: 00:18:28

Not only are kids expensive pets.

382

: 00:18:30

Yes.

383

: 00:18:31

Pets are expensive.

384

: 00:18:32

So I have a 17 year old cat.

385

: 00:18:35

She might even be 18.

386

: 00:18:36

I've lost count.

387

: 00:18:37

She's so old.

388

: 00:18:38

A whole series of medical

issues, irritable bowel disorder.

389

: 00:18:43

That's a fun one.

390

: 00:18:44

Diabetic.

391

: 00:18:46

Um, yeah, so, and don't

have insurance on her.

392

: 00:18:50

Also have a golden retriever.

393

: 00:18:54

Also has irritable bowel disorder.

394

: 00:18:56

And has had two bouts of cancer.

395

: 00:18:58

Oh my God.

396

: 00:18:59

She rounds of chemo each time.

397

: 00:19:01

, we do have pet insurance for him.

398

: 00:19:04

Okay.

399

: 00:19:05

So not only, I mean, you're.

400

: 00:19:07

Your child.

401

: 00:19:08

Arguably sometimes different

category than your pet.

402

: 00:19:11

Sometimes not different category.

403

: 00:19:13

, you have to think about the

wellness of the whole family.

404

: 00:19:15

Sure.

405

: 00:19:16

So there are for kids, a

lot of routes you can go.

406

: 00:19:21

I don't know if the account that

your parents had for you was a 5

407

: 00:19:24

29, or if it was just a regular

old brokerage or taxable account, I

408

: 00:19:29

don't know, but that is a decision

point that I talk with people about.

409

: 00:19:34

Five to nines can only

be used for education.

410

: 00:19:37

And it's a broad term, you

know, it includes laptops.

411

: 00:19:41

Room and board meal plans.

412

: 00:19:43

, study abroad, study abroad.

413

: 00:19:46

Does, but not buying a condo.

414

: 00:19:50

I mean, you can take the money out,

but there's some penalties involved.

415

: 00:19:53

Okay.

416

: 00:19:53

Whereas a taxable account or brokerage

account, you don't get the same tax

417

: 00:19:58

advantages that you do with the 5 29,

but you get a lot more flexibility.

418

: 00:20:03

Okay.

419

: 00:20:04

And so those are also decisions that

when you're thinking about, Hey,

420

: 00:20:07

I want to set my, my kids up for.

421

: 00:20:11

Um, a potential benefit.

422

: 00:20:13

You have to be specific about what

type of an account do we want to do?

423

: 00:20:18

Yeah.

424

: 00:20:19

And are you really trying to

push them towards use this for

425

: 00:20:23

education or use this for pursuing.

426

: 00:20:26

A passion.

427

: 00:20:27

Yeah.

428

: 00:20:28

And especially in a day and age

when education is so expensive,

429

: 00:20:33

I'm curious to see in 20 years is

going to college or, or having some

430

: 00:20:39

type of a degree as emphasized.

431

: 00:20:43

As it currently is, or do we

start to move away from that?

432

: 00:20:46

I think we're starting

to move away from it.

433

: 00:20:48

I think we're seeing the early

signs of that, but I agree with you.

434

: 00:20:51

I'd be real curious to know.

435

: 00:20:52

Cause I feel like I was kind of on

an early wave of people who were

436

: 00:20:55

like, you know what, I'm going

to skip college because I have a

437

: 00:20:57

passion and I'm going to pursue this.

438

: 00:20:59

And.

439

: 00:20:59

Luckily for me, it's so

far it's working out.

440

: 00:21:02

, but I think that especially if you

go to like a traditional high school

441

: 00:21:06

or , you know, grade school situation

where it's a college prep focus, , It's

442

: 00:21:10

like, I think it doesn't occur to

people that there's other options.

443

: 00:21:13

, I think it's really fascinating

watching, Those trends kind of evolve.

444

: 00:21:17

As options evolve.

445

: 00:21:18

I hope that we move away from

college being the default to,

446

: 00:21:22

I just think it it's expensive.

447

: 00:21:25

So it might not be the right

environment for everyone.

448

: 00:21:29

There's a strong desire

to fit in and blend.

449

: 00:21:33

And I think it can shape your brain and

personality in very formidable years.

450

: 00:21:38

That might not be for the better.

451

: 00:21:39

I agree.

452

: 00:21:40

I certainly been through some

waves of, of who am I as a person.

453

: 00:21:44

Uh, going into college, coming out of

college and kind of rewriting myself.

454

: 00:21:49

Yes.

455

: 00:21:50

As you should.

456

: 00:21:50

I mean, I think we all are works

in progress and we should always

457

: 00:21:52

be checking in with ourselves and

checking in with, you know, what are

458

: 00:21:56

my values and why are these my values?

459

: 00:21:58

Is it because this is what I've been told

I'm supposed to feel and think from a

460

: 00:22:01

young age, or do I really feel this way?

461

: 00:22:04

, and.

462

: 00:22:05

We need more electricians.

463

: 00:22:06

We need.

464

: 00:22:07

We need people to go to trade school

and there's, you've probably read

465

: 00:22:10

the classic book, the millionaire

next door, but it's like the plumber.

466

: 00:22:13

The, these are people who have

trades that they're able to monetize.

467

: 00:22:16

Maybe have a crew working for them.

468

: 00:22:18

, and so I think that there's stigma around

skipping college or going into a trade

469

: 00:22:22

school that is a completely unnecessary

and I blame big college for that.

470

: 00:22:28

Completely.

471

: 00:22:29

I am clueless when it comes to yes.

472

: 00:22:34

Fixing a leaky faucet of this.

473

: 00:22:37

That.

474

: 00:22:38

I don't even know where to start.

475

: 00:22:41

Yeah.

476

: 00:22:42

So I have to call someone every single

time and I have to do my best to.

477

: 00:22:48

You know, vet them and you have some

idea of knowing what you're doing.

478

: 00:22:53

I hope so.

479

: 00:22:54

Fingers crossed and

let's pray for the best.

480

: 00:22:56

Yeah.

481

: 00:22:56

But I don't actually know.

482

: 00:22:58

So, yeah.

483

: 00:23:00

, well, Lauren.

484

: 00:23:01

We have a ton of questions from listeners

that were submitted a little while ago.

485

: 00:23:05

You've had some time to

kind of look over them.

486

: 00:23:08

Do you want to get into

some Q and a let's do it.

487

: 00:23:10

Okay.

488

: 00:23:11

I'm here to help.

489

: 00:23:12

I'm so glad.

490

: 00:23:13

Okay.

491

: 00:23:13

So I'm just going to ask you these

in the order that I received them.

492

: 00:23:16

. Question number one.

493

: 00:23:18

I don't even know where to

start with financial planning.

494

: 00:23:21

What does that even mean?

495

: 00:23:23

So I think financial planning means

different things to different people,

496

: 00:23:26

both client and advisor alike.

497

: 00:23:28

. , to me.

498

: 00:23:29

It is getting an understanding of you.

499

: 00:23:33

What is your current financial situation?

500

: 00:23:35

, where do you have money?

501

: 00:23:36

Are you currently saving?

502

: 00:23:39

Are you currently investing?

503

: 00:23:40

What debt do you have?

504

: 00:23:42

And then also, , where

are you trying to go?

505

: 00:23:45

Yeah.

506

: 00:23:46

Because we have to know

that side of it too.

507

: 00:23:49

A lot of times people will say,

how much money do I need to retire?

508

: 00:23:53

Well, if it were that simple,

Well, when do you want to retire?

509

: 00:23:56

What do you want retirement to look like?

510

: 00:23:58

How good are you at sticking to a budget?

511

: 00:24:01

How excited are you to travel,

to explore, to enjoy things.

512

: 00:24:07

And everyone is going

to be totally different.

513

: 00:24:08

So for me, financial planning is

learning you your unique situation and

514

: 00:24:15

how do we get to where you want to be?

515

: 00:24:18

And sometimes we have to have a

conversation around what is realistic.

516

: 00:24:23

Yeah.

517

: 00:24:24

And what is it?

518

: 00:24:25

Yeah.

519

: 00:24:25

The earlier you start so much

more is going to be feasible.

520

: 00:24:32

We can still do a whole lot of

work if you're only five years from

521

: 00:24:34

retirement, but it's a lot easier to do.

522

: 00:24:37

If you are 20 years from retirement.

523

: 00:24:39

Which for some people

we're still talking 45.

524

: 00:24:42

So you've got a ton of time

if you're like, oh my gosh,

525

: 00:24:45

I haven't done anything yet.

526

: 00:24:46

You have time.

527

: 00:24:48

Yeah.

528

: 00:24:48

But like, let's start.

529

: 00:24:49

Now.

530

: 00:24:50

Yeah, I obviously am not a financial

professional, but I, you know, I

531

: 00:24:55

take the little gems I get from you

and relay them to people when asked.

532

: 00:24:59

But one thing that people say, and I

don't know if this is a future question.

533

: 00:25:02

Actually it is.

534

: 00:25:03

Let's go there.

535

: 00:25:04

This is okay.

536

: 00:25:04

This is, this was a perfect segue then.

537

: 00:25:06

So what I was going to say is I have

people in my life who have said , oh, I

538

: 00:25:10

don't make enough money to invest that.

539

: 00:25:11

I'm like, everybody makes

enough money to invest.

540

: 00:25:14

, even if it's $5 a week, I mean,

it doesn't matter if you're, you.

541

: 00:25:17

Everybody can do something.

542

: 00:25:18

, and so, , Conveniently the next question

is, is there a certain amount of money

543

: 00:25:23

you have to make to be able to invest?

544

: 00:25:26

So I totally agree.

545

: 00:25:28

Everyone has to be investing.

546

: 00:25:29

, and.

547

: 00:25:30

I start with people that probably

don't have a lot of experience and

548

: 00:25:33

say, we're going back to basics.

549

: 00:25:35

Do you have three to six months of

emergency savings for your daily expenses?

550

: 00:25:41

Saved up.

551

: 00:25:42

If the answer is no,

that is where we start.

552

: 00:25:46

And what can you do on a weekly,

monthly basis to get there?

553

: 00:25:52

And that in and of itself starts

the process of setting aside money.

554

: 00:25:57

Once you hit three to six months of that

emergency savings, we move that somewhere

555

: 00:26:03

out of your checking savings account.

556

: 00:26:05

Maybe it's a high yield savings account.

557

: 00:26:08

Get it where it's

slightly harder to spend.

558

: 00:26:11

Yes.

559

: 00:26:12

And forget that it exists, then

keep taking that amount that you

560

: 00:26:16

were using to get you to your

three to six months savings.

561

: 00:26:21

And that's what we start investing.

562

: 00:26:23

I like that.

563

: 00:26:24

And people might not think of

saving and investing as fun.

564

: 00:26:29

This is to allow you to

spend money in the future.

565

: 00:26:32

Right.

566

: 00:26:33

So you still get to spend it.

567

: 00:26:34

You just don't get to spend it.

568

: 00:26:36

Right now.

569

: 00:26:37

. And you are saving it,

investing it for a time.

570

: 00:26:40

That is arguably even more important

because when you're tired and

571

: 00:26:43

you're like, I'm done working.

572

: 00:26:45

You need that money to be there.

573

: 00:26:47

And every little bit helps.

574

: 00:26:50

, and this is also going to be

a total PSA for investing to.

575

: 00:26:55

It is much harder to save.

576

: 00:26:59

Just dollar for dollar and not invest

it and not be enough in the future.

577

: 00:27:04

You're going to have to work so much

harder than if you take the money

578

: 00:27:08

above and beyond which you know,

you're going to need in the next three

579

: 00:27:10

to six months, , beyond what you're

going to need for emergency savings.

580

: 00:27:14

When you can invest that and

that compounding interest

581

: 00:27:17

start to making money.

582

: 00:27:19

My favorite part of client

calls, and it's how I start.

583

: 00:27:23

Every call is here's how much money

you've made last year or so far.

584

: 00:27:27

This year.

585

: 00:27:27

Love that.

586

: 00:27:28

And that is new money created that

you didn't have to do anything for.

587

: 00:27:34

And that is what really starts to

propel you forward and build wealth.

588

: 00:27:40

Yeah, you do need to be making your

contributions, but when that pile gets

589

: 00:27:45

larger and larger, The investing growth

is something it's, it's a runaway.

590

: 00:27:51

It's a good runaway train.

591

: 00:27:53

That's hard to stop.

592

: 00:27:54

So start now start with $50.

593

: 00:27:57

You know, think about an amount

that you aren't going to notice.

594

: 00:28:02

I think $50 a month is pretty

easy for most people live with

595

: 00:28:07

that for three months, maybe four.

596

: 00:28:10

Up it again.

597

: 00:28:11

Can you go from 50 to

maybe 75 or even a hundred?

598

: 00:28:16

Yeah.

599

: 00:28:16

And then every three to

four months increase it.

600

: 00:28:20

Set it up.

601

: 00:28:21

This needs to be an auto-draft situation.

602

: 00:28:24

If you have to go in and manually

do it, you're not going to do it.

603

: 00:28:27

Nope.

604

: 00:28:27

So set it up as auto draft increase

it every three to four months

605

: 00:28:32

start now, anything that you can.

606

: 00:28:35

This is crucial.

607

: 00:28:36

You are paying your future self.

608

: 00:28:39

Yes.

609

: 00:28:40

, one of my favorite mottoes is I love

setting future Erica, up for success.

610

: 00:28:44

I'm always looking out for her, , whether

it's the short-term or the long-term.

611

: 00:28:48

And also I think.

612

: 00:28:52

It's.

613

: 00:28:53

Well, if you're, if you have a shoe box

of cash under your bed, that's $10,000,

614

: 00:28:57

$10,000 is going to be worth a lot

less in 20 years than it would be now.

615

: 00:29:02

And so if you're not growing your money,

you're literally losing it, right.

616

: 00:29:05

You are, you are.

617

: 00:29:07

And people think, well, I have

this cash it's in the bank.

618

: 00:29:10

It's safe.

619

: 00:29:11

So while $10,000 will

still be worth $10,000.

620

: 00:29:16

What that $10,000 buys you.

621

: 00:29:19

Is less and not as a very real concern.

622

: 00:29:22

I mean, we're just coming off of a couple

of years of insanely high inflation.

623

: 00:29:26

Luckily that's coming down.

624

: 00:29:28

But that's a roaded purchasing

power for all of us.

625

: 00:29:32

Yeah.

626

: 00:29:32

And just even keep, even the past

few years here, cash needed to

627

: 00:29:37

make seven, eight, 9% at times.

628

: 00:29:40

Wild it is for cash.

629

: 00:29:43

So.

630

: 00:29:44

Everyone absolutely needs to be saving.

631

: 00:29:48

And once you can get that three to

six month emergency savings set up,

632

: 00:29:53

usually that's kind of the hardest

hurdle once you're there, you're

633

: 00:29:56

already in the habit of saving.

634

: 00:29:59

Just keep doing it.

635

: 00:30:00

Yeah.

636

: 00:30:00

I always tell people I'm like,

I treat savings as a bill.

637

: 00:30:04

I have a series of auto drafts at the

first of every month and it takes my

638

: 00:30:08

money to places I can't access easily.

639

: 00:30:10

Like you said, and I just

kind of set it and forget it.

640

: 00:30:13

And I just know that my money

that I can spend and play with

641

: 00:30:16

is what's left behind and.

642

: 00:30:18

It is a mindset thing, but I

agree with you once you get

643

: 00:30:21

there, it's just like, oh, okay.

644

: 00:30:23

I can do this.

645

: 00:30:24

And potentially unpopular opinion.

646

: 00:30:27

You have to prioritize this to yes.

647

: 00:30:29

I understand.

648

: 00:30:31

, the ease of, well, retirement

is so far away and right

649

: 00:30:36

now, XYZ is important to me.

650

: 00:30:40

, but is having that very expensive

lease on your car right now, which is

651

: 00:30:45

preventing you from being able to save.

652

: 00:30:47

Is that something that when you're in

retirement, you're going to be like,

653

: 00:30:49

I'm so glad that I leased that car.

654

: 00:30:52

Yeah.

655

: 00:30:52

You're not going to think about that.

656

: 00:30:54

Yeah.

657

: 00:30:54

So it might mean.

658

: 00:30:57

Changing your lifestyle a

little bit, a little bit.

659

: 00:31:01

But it is going to be worth it.

660

: 00:31:03

And, and.

661

: 00:31:05

I try to be very honest with my

clients about market outlook.

662

: 00:31:09

And about you need to be saving more.

663

: 00:31:11

Yeah.

664

: 00:31:11

How do we get you there?

665

: 00:31:12

Like, let's not make it an

insurmountable challenge, but we

666

: 00:31:16

need to be doing more sometimes

because I'm here to be your ally.

667

: 00:31:22

And if I'm not honest with

you, that's not serving you.

668

: 00:31:26

I agree.

669

: 00:31:28

Perfect answer Lauren.

670

: 00:31:29

, all right, next question.

671

: 00:31:30

I'm overwhelmed with different opinions

and information on investing real estate,

672

: 00:31:35

crypto, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

673

: 00:31:38

How do I know who I can trust

and where my money is safest.

674

: 00:31:41

So think there's a lot to

unpack in this question.

675

: 00:31:45

Let me start with where

compliance insisted.

676

: 00:31:48

I start.

677

: 00:31:50

Safe and investing are not two words

that belong in the same sentence.

678

: 00:31:55

Okay.

679

: 00:31:56

All investing involves

risk and, and it does.

680

: 00:31:59

And I wholeheartedly agree

that agree with that.

681

: 00:32:02

Safe is something that

is also a fuzzy word.

682

: 00:32:06

What is safety?

683

: 00:32:07

You might mean safe to me.

684

: 00:32:09

, at its most simplistic, I would

say safe is I cannot lose money.

685

: 00:32:15

Mm.

686

: 00:32:16

There's a couple things you can

do where you cannot lose money.

687

: 00:32:19

You're going to give up something.

688

: 00:32:20

So a CD at your bank.

689

: 00:32:22

You cannot lose money, assuming.

690

: 00:32:25

You hold that CD to maturity.

691

: 00:32:28

Okay.

692

: 00:32:29

And you need to know

what that maturity is.

693

: 00:32:30

It could be six months.

694

: 00:32:32

It could be a year.

695

: 00:32:33

It could be longer, but if you get

out of that CD early, you're going

696

: 00:32:37

to lose money for people listening

that may not know what's a CD.

697

: 00:32:41

A certificate of deposit.

698

: 00:32:42

Okay.

699

: 00:32:43

, banks sell them.

700

: 00:32:44

You, at least at Raymond, James can get a

CD because we have a Raymond James bank.

701

: 00:32:50

They are FDAC insured.

702

: 00:32:52

Meaning if Raymond James bank disappeared,

you would still have that money in a CD.

703

: 00:32:57

The federal government would step in

and say that that money is still there.

704

: 00:33:00

Okay.

705

: 00:33:01

You're going to have a guaranteed rate

of return that you know, going in.

706

: 00:33:05

That is what it is.

707

: 00:33:06

It's not going to go up.

708

: 00:33:07

It's not going to go down that money

that you put into it is not liquid.

709

: 00:33:11

It is not accessible.

710

: 00:33:12

What type of rates are common with a CD?

711

: 00:33:16

It depends on what the general

interest rate environment is right now.

712

: 00:33:20

You will see a one year CD around.

713

: 00:33:26

4.8, 5% to maybe 5%.

714

: 00:33:29

Okay.

715

: 00:33:30

, which is phenomenal.

716

: 00:33:31

For essentially cash.

717

: 00:33:34

I do not recommend CDs,

my personal opinion.

718

: 00:33:37

I do not recommend CDs

for that emergency cash.

719

: 00:33:40

Yeah, because while it is completely

safe, we never know when we're going

720

: 00:33:44

to have these emergencies and you

need to be able to access that money.

721

: 00:33:47

Yeah.

722

: 00:33:48

Now.

723

: 00:33:49

The flip side of quote, unquote safe.

724

: 00:33:51

You're giving up something.

725

: 00:33:53

And guaranteed 5% sounds pretty great.

726

: 00:33:56

Last year.

727

: 00:33:58

The S and P 500 was up roughly 24%.

728

: 00:34:02

Yeah.

729

: 00:34:02

You gave up opportunity for growth.

730

: 00:34:05

You might be okay with that, but

that is a consideration we have to

731

: 00:34:08

have so little illusion of safety.

732

: 00:34:11

The illusion of safety.

733

: 00:34:12

And how does that 5% rate of return?

734

: 00:34:15

Advance you towards your future goals.

735

: 00:34:19

So that's my little spiel on safety.

736

: 00:34:21

Okay.

737

: 00:34:22

How do you know where

to invest your money?

738

: 00:34:25

I'm going to give you a personal opinion.

739

: 00:34:27

After sort of this bland response.

740

: 00:34:30

Okay.

741

: 00:34:31

Talk to your advisor or your potential

advisor and ask their opinions on

742

: 00:34:36

areas that you're interested in.

743

: 00:34:38

See how they feel about it.

744

: 00:34:40

, they might disagree with you and they

might bring a different perspective

745

: 00:34:44

that you like, and you're like, oh,

Hey, I didn't think of it that way.

746

: 00:34:46

That makes sense.

747

: 00:34:48

You might disagree and say,

okay, agree to disagree.

748

: 00:34:51

Or you might say your views are

completely opposite to mine.

749

: 00:34:56

And in that situation, they're

probably not a right fit for you.

750

: 00:35:00

And that is okay.

751

: 00:35:01

I think we need to say no more than we do.

752

: 00:35:07

Love that my personal opinions

on crypto and real estate

753

: 00:35:11

are kind of the two biggies.

754

: 00:35:12

And they're specifically

what, , your listeners.

755

: 00:35:16

Asked about.

756

: 00:35:17

I start with asking people

questions about cryptocurrency.

757

: 00:35:20

Well, tell me what you

know about cryptocurrency.

758

: 00:35:23

What is it?

759

: 00:35:25

I mean, I know that it

is a digital currency.

760

: 00:35:28

I know that the logic of it makes

sense for countries that have

761

: 00:35:33

instability with their currency.

762

: 00:35:35

If there's something where one Bitcoin

in India is worth one Bitcoin in the

763

: 00:35:40

us, there's a lot of appeal in that.

764

: 00:35:43

We are not there with any

cryptocurrency being a true

765

: 00:35:48

currency in a stable store of value.

766

: 00:35:52

A currency should be a

stable store of value.

767

: 00:35:55

Right now, cryptocurrencies

are a speculative trading.

768

: 00:36:01

Vehicle it's a thing.

769

: 00:36:02

It doesn't really represent.

770

: 00:36:05

Anything, and that is where

my big problem with it lies.

771

: 00:36:08

If you take a look at the stock market,

you are owning pieces of a company.

772

: 00:36:14

There is a real company.

773

: 00:36:16

They sell . Products services.

774

: 00:36:18

They have leadership, they have vision.

775

: 00:36:22

There are earnings, there are cashflow.

776

: 00:36:26

There's a lot of different metrics

that you can look at and evaluate

777

: 00:36:30

and come up with a fair price.

778

: 00:36:33

You know what you're buying.

779

: 00:36:36

With cryptocurrencies.

780

: 00:36:38

What are you buying?

781

: 00:36:40

What is influencing the

value other than demand?

782

: 00:36:45

And you see very, very wild

swings in the value of it.

783

: 00:36:49

And of course I have friends

that invest in cryptocurrency,

784

: 00:36:54

some very heavily, some dabble.

785

: 00:36:57

I get the question a lot from clients.

786

: 00:36:59

And here's what I say.

787

: 00:37:00

And you and I had actually talked about

this and we feel the exact same way.

788

: 00:37:04

Yeah.

789

: 00:37:04

If you're really interested.

790

: 00:37:06

Sure explore it, but take the

money that you would go to Vegas

791

: 00:37:10

and feel comfortable losing.

792

: 00:37:14

And if you lose it, you

won't lose all of it.

793

: 00:37:17

You might lose 60, 70%.

794

: 00:37:19

Okay.

795

: 00:37:20

You were interested.

796

: 00:37:22

It was a play thing.

797

: 00:37:24

And worst case scenario.

798

: 00:37:26

You lost most of it, but

you were expecting that.

799

: 00:37:29

Yeah.

800

: 00:37:29

And then if you break even,

or you make money on amazing.

801

: 00:37:34

And there are absolutely people

out there that will make a

802

: 00:37:37

lot of money in cryptocurrency

and have made a lot of money.

803

: 00:37:41

But that is not everyone.

804

: 00:37:43

And that is not the majority of people.

805

: 00:37:46

The reason why those stories.

806

: 00:37:48

Are out there is because

they are the select few.

807

: 00:37:51

They are the sensational stories.

808

: 00:37:53

So play with some money.

809

: 00:37:56

If you're inclined to do it.

810

: 00:37:58

No, that you could lose 60, 70%.

811

: 00:38:02

And just be okay with that.

812

: 00:38:03

That needs to be not the money that

we're retiring with, not the money

813

: 00:38:08

we're playing, paying our bills

with not our emergency savings.

814

: 00:38:11

That's fun money.

815

: 00:38:12

I'm okay with that.

816

: 00:38:14

Onto real estate.

817

: 00:38:15

So we both acknowledged that our early

purchases of a place where we lived.

818

: 00:38:21

Was really foundational for us

as people and gave us stability

819

: 00:38:26

to maybe allow us to fluctuate a

bit more in our personal lives.

820

: 00:38:31

If you're constantly accumulating more and

more real estate as a piece of investment.

821

: 00:38:35

What I caution people is that is not

spendable money in its current form.

822

: 00:38:41

So when you get to retirement and

you have a portfolio of six rental

823

: 00:38:44

properties, is the income that they're

generating enough to pay your bills.

824

: 00:38:50

If they are okay.

825

: 00:38:53

If they're not, and you have to tap

into the equity of those homes, you're

826

: 00:38:58

looking at a home equity line of

credit, or maybe a cash out refinance.

827

: 00:39:02

You're paying interest and

expenses to access your own money.

828

: 00:39:08

Yeah, and I don't love that.

829

: 00:39:10

And people also say, well, if I invest

a hundred thousand dollars into this

830

: 00:39:15

property, it's going to be worth that.

831

: 00:39:17

And then some.

832

: 00:39:18

We'll surprise, surprise, same with the

stock market, because you've been making

833

: 00:39:21

mortgage payments into that real estate.

834

: 00:39:24

You've been adding every single month.

835

: 00:39:27

So you've put more money

in which has helped it.

836

: 00:39:29

It's store of value.

837

: 00:39:32

And property values have gone up.

838

: 00:39:35

Traditionally long-term by not

as much as the stock market.

839

: 00:39:40

Although, you know, past six

years have definitely, we've

840

: 00:39:43

seen huge growth in real estate.

841

: 00:39:45

That's not a sustainable pace.

842

: 00:39:47

So I'm a big believer in

diversification diversification

843

: 00:39:50

within the traditional investments.

844

: 00:39:53

You own as well as sure if

you have a passion for having

845

: 00:39:58

some money in real estate.

846

: 00:39:59

You understand if you're going to

pay a property management company

847

: 00:40:04

and they're going to skim 20 to

25% off the top and that's okay.

848

: 00:40:08

Or your going to manage it.

849

: 00:40:11

You need to know how everything

fits together under a

850

: 00:40:14

unified long-term strategy.

851

: 00:40:17

Just don't throw all of

your money out there.

852

: 00:40:19

Willy nilly.

853

: 00:40:21

And, and not understand

how it fits together.

854

: 00:40:24

So don't love cryptocurrency.

855

: 00:40:27

Don't really recommend it.

856

: 00:40:29

Hard real estate, more of a situational.

857

: 00:40:32

You need to know what you're

getting into tends to work better

858

: 00:40:36

at scale multiple real estate

properties, and you need enough.

859

: 00:40:41

Liquidity, regular liquidity.

860

: 00:40:44

To pay your bills.

861

: 00:40:44

Come retirement time.

862

: 00:40:45

Yeah.

863

: 00:40:46

Those are my thoughts.

864

: 00:40:47

I love your thoughts.

865

: 00:40:49

I agree with them too.

866

: 00:40:51

Uh, all right.

867

: 00:40:52

Next question.

868

: 00:40:55

I'm risk averse.

869

: 00:40:56

What are my safest options?

870

: 00:40:58

We've kind of touched on this

already, but maybe specifically.

871

: 00:41:03

So I think it goes back to also

defining what is risk adverse mean?

872

: 00:41:08

Yeah.

873

: 00:41:08

Are you comfortable with some

fluctuations or no fluctuations?

874

: 00:41:15

, if the answer is no fluctuations, You're

looking at CDs, certificates of deposits.

875

: 00:41:21

A savings account.

876

: 00:41:23

That's FDAC insured and high yield

savings account might not be FBIC insured.

877

: 00:41:29

You have to look.

878

: 00:41:30

And, and, and see kind of what

information is out there on, on

879

: 00:41:35

the one that you're looking into.

880

: 00:41:36

Pretty sure I can't name

anyone specifically, but

881

: 00:41:39

do a Google search for it.

882

: 00:41:40

, you are probably going to get a

higher interest rate on something

883

: 00:41:45

that is slightly variable.

884

: 00:41:48

But you want to look for something

that is insured, if you can tolerate

885

: 00:41:53

no fluctuations, but remember no

fluctuations comes at the price of

886

: 00:41:58

liquidity here going to have to hold

it for that whole period of time.

887

: 00:42:02

Another example would

be a us treasury bond.

888

: 00:42:07

They come in super short durations, like

one month, two months, six months a year.

889

: 00:42:13

, as long as you hold it to maturity, you're

going to get back the money you put in.

890

: 00:42:17

Plus whatever the stated coupon is.

891

: 00:42:21

There's not a whole lot

in truly, truly safe.

892

: 00:42:24

So that's where I kind of dig deep

with people and say, What a safe meat.

893

: 00:42:29

And why are we concerned about safe?

894

: 00:42:31

Yeah.

895

: 00:42:32

What has happened to you in the past

that you're saying I'm risk averse.

896

: 00:42:36

If it's that this money can't

be lost because I need it.

897

: 00:42:41

Well, then we're probably

not talking about investments

898

: 00:42:43

being right to begin with.

899

: 00:42:45

Right.

900

: 00:42:46

We need to go back to do

we have emergency savings?

901

: 00:42:49

And if you're actively saving towards

a goal of, Hey, I need a new car.

902

: 00:42:54

That's not money that

should be invested, right?

903

: 00:42:56

Money that's for retirement.

904

: 00:42:58

For my clients.

905

: 00:43:00

I believe it needs to be invested.

906

: 00:43:02

We can do lower volatility investments.

907

: 00:43:05

We can layer in some

things that are guaranteed.

908

: 00:43:09

But if someone comes to me

and says, I can tolerate.

909

: 00:43:13

Absolutely no fluctuations.

910

: 00:43:15

They're probably not an investing client

and they're not a good fit for what I do.

911

: 00:43:20

Yeah.

912

: 00:43:21

It's kind of going back to

saying now, And that's okay.

913

: 00:43:25

And hopefully I will still have

equipped them with knowledge.

914

: 00:43:30

, and they might come back around in a

couple of years and say, all right, I've,

915

: 00:43:34

I've made it through the things that I

needed to and I'm ready or they might not.

916

: 00:43:38

Yeah.

917

: 00:43:38

But what I do is get people's

money invested for them.

918

: 00:43:42

To help them hit.

919

: 00:43:44

Goals.

920

: 00:43:45

And travel along a plan.

921

: 00:43:46

Yeah.

922

: 00:43:48

I think a lot of people.

923

: 00:43:50

Depending on their upbringing

and their experiences can , have

924

: 00:43:53

a lot of trauma around money and

spending and gaining and losing.

925

: 00:43:58

And do you find, this is not

a question I'm just curious.

926

: 00:44:01

, Uh, do you find that you do some like,

kind of psychological coaching through

927

: 00:44:05

helping people update their mindsets on.

928

: 00:44:09

Money.

929

: 00:44:11

Yes.

930

: 00:44:13

And I'm curious, I think the way

I'm going to answer this isn't

931

: 00:44:15

necessarily what you're getting at and

I'm so, so reframe me if we need to.

932

: 00:44:20

Okay.

933

: 00:44:21

I always call clients when the market is

down, you, you don't avoid those calls.

934

: 00:44:25

You don't avoid reaching

out and you talk about it.

935

: 00:44:28

And I say, I know this isn't fun.

936

: 00:44:30

Let's look at real numbers.

937

: 00:44:32

This is what you're down as a percent.

938

: 00:44:33

This is what you're down in dollars.

939

: 00:44:35

This is compared to what

the broad market has done.

940

: 00:44:38

How are we feeling?

941

: 00:44:40

When the market is down is not the

time that you want to make changes.

942

: 00:44:45

You want to buy low, sell high.

943

: 00:44:49

And if you sell, when the market's

down, you have bought high.

944

: 00:44:53

And sold low.

945

: 00:44:55

And so I do everything that I can to keep

people invested and I try to give them

946

: 00:44:59

examples that are hopefully not all that.

947

: 00:45:02

Long ago to say, look.

948

: 00:45:04

In 2020.

949

: 00:45:06

From the height of the low,

the market was down about 34%.

950

: 00:45:10

That is a staggering figure.

951

: 00:45:12

Let's just take a million dollar

portfolio because these numbers are big.

952

: 00:45:17

Uh, 34% decline is a loss of $340,000.

953

: 00:45:23

That's a lot of money.

954

: 00:45:24

If you stayed invested.

955

: 00:45:27

By the end of the year, not only had

you recovered being down, you were up,

956

: 00:45:33

uh, I might have to fact check this.

957

: 00:45:35

I think about 18 plus percent.

958

: 00:45:37

Wow.

959

: 00:45:38

So, not only did you make back

the three 40, you were down.

960

: 00:45:42

You would have been up about $180,000.

961

: 00:45:45

So I try to point to situations

like that and say, staying invested.

962

: 00:45:51

You will recover.

963

: 00:45:52

It might not be immediate.

964

: 00:45:54

It might take a year.

965

: 00:45:55

It might take two years.

966

: 00:45:57

Doesn't typically take

much beyond two years.

967

: 00:46:01

, the great recession was

a little bit different.

968

: 00:46:03

I think that maybe took about

three years for people to get

969

: 00:46:06

back to even, but the behavioral

side of it absolutely influences

970

: 00:46:11

how much longterm pain you feel.

971

: 00:46:14

So when I start working with someone

for the first time, I have an emphasis

972

: 00:46:19

on we're going to have down years,

we are going to lose money and

973

: 00:46:23

that might seem like a weird way to

start a relationship with someone.

974

: 00:46:27

But if they know that and they have

that in their brain when it happens,

975

: 00:46:30

because it will, they're like, okay,

We talked about this and then the

976

: 00:46:34

magnitude of how crappy that felt.

977

: 00:46:38

We'll change what we do

when the market goes up.

978

: 00:46:41

So, all right.

979

: 00:46:42

Market goes down.

980

: 00:46:43

It was pretty much

intolerable for someone.

981

: 00:46:46

The market goes back up, I circle back and

say, okay, we need to make some changes.

982

: 00:46:51

We were too aggressively allocated.

983

: 00:46:53

We need to dial it back a bit.

984

: 00:46:55

Yeah.

985

: 00:46:56

So yes, it is a constant check-in.

986

: 00:46:59

How are you feeling?

987

: 00:47:00

But when you make the changes.

988

: 00:47:04

It's probably not going to be immediate.

989

: 00:47:06

And it is an ongoing and you also make

changes based on what the outlook is.

990

: 00:47:11

And I was looking at the last time we

talked and I was saying, Hey, I think

991

: 00:47:15

20, 24, we're going to have a recession.

992

: 00:47:18

Fast forward.

993

: 00:47:19

We're in 2024.

994

: 00:47:20

I don't think we're going

to have a recession anymore.

995

: 00:47:22

So.

996

: 00:47:24

That outlet.

997

: 00:47:27

It's totally agree.

998

: 00:47:28

So I think that means that we do

a little bit something different

999

: 00:47:31

with some part of the investment.

: 1000

00:47:34,001 --> 00:47:38,821

So, , changing people's mindset

around, how do they feel about money?

: 1001

00:47:38,821 --> 00:47:41,461

I think is situational.

: 1002

00:47:41,821 --> 00:47:43,051

What is happening now?

: 1003

00:47:43,081 --> 00:47:44,401

How do they feel?

: 1004

00:47:44,641 --> 00:47:46,861

Can I make them feel a

little bit differently?

: 1005

00:47:47,281 --> 00:47:48,091

The other side.

: 1006

00:47:48,091 --> 00:47:50,731

And I think maybe what you were

thinking more is kind of what their

: 1007

00:47:50,731 --> 00:47:53,011

past experience has been with money.

: 1008

00:47:53,761 --> 00:47:54,541

And.

: 1009

00:47:55,561 --> 00:47:56,791

Everyone's going to be different.

: 1010

00:47:57,001 --> 00:48:02,431

I find that asking questions to

understand why they feel that way.

: 1011

00:48:03,241 --> 00:48:07,531

Is going to be the only way

for me to understand, but B

: 1012

00:48:07,831 --> 00:48:10,951

to maybe change that at all.

: 1013

00:48:11,311 --> 00:48:13,291

But deep rooted.

: 1014

00:48:13,801 --> 00:48:17,131

I don't want to call it trauma

around money, but emotions.

: 1015

00:48:17,131 --> 00:48:17,341

Yeah.

: 1016

00:48:17,881 --> 00:48:20,221

It's pretty hard to change.

: 1017

00:48:21,121 --> 00:48:24,691

You, this is by far in overgeneralization.

: 1018

00:48:25,021 --> 00:48:29,731

, people in more third world countries

do not have trust and banking systems.

: 1019

00:48:30,031 --> 00:48:34,501

They typically are very, very

wary of the stock market.

: 1020

00:48:34,571 --> 00:48:36,341

, and kind of traditional investments.

: 1021

00:48:36,431 --> 00:48:41,921

And so, you know, someone that comes to

me, that's maybe 45 50 that says, Hey, I

: 1022

00:48:41,921 --> 00:48:43,511

feel like I'm getting close to retirement.

: 1023

00:48:43,721 --> 00:48:45,011

I've never invested.

: 1024

00:48:45,071 --> 00:48:50,651

I'm I'm worried if they have had a

complete distrust, their entire lifetime.

: 1025

00:48:51,101 --> 00:48:52,001

Even banks.

: 1026

00:48:52,631 --> 00:48:55,811

I don't know that I'm going to be

able to change their opinion any,

: 1027

00:48:55,991 --> 00:49:00,761

yeah, I'll give it a good go and

I'll provide some, some options.

: 1028

00:49:02,621 --> 00:49:05,351

But not everyone comes around.

: 1029

00:49:05,801 --> 00:49:06,611

That makes sense.

: 1030

00:49:06,701 --> 00:49:07,031

Yeah.

: 1031

00:49:07,061 --> 00:49:07,661

A lot of sense.

: 1032

00:49:08,211 --> 00:49:11,001

I have always had an interest in money.

: 1033

00:49:11,061 --> 00:49:13,071

Not that I've always had it, but

it's always been something that's

: 1034

00:49:13,071 --> 00:49:14,991

fascinated me and I've always.

: 1035

00:49:15,711 --> 00:49:20,811

Identified, especially as a woman that

there's safety and security and being

: 1036

00:49:20,811 --> 00:49:25,971

financially independent, and I've watched

friends and clients and people I care

: 1037

00:49:26,001 --> 00:49:29,011

about and people, I don't care about

get themselves into situations where

: 1038

00:49:29,041 --> 00:49:30,601

their dependence lays outside of them.

: 1039

00:49:30,601 --> 00:49:32,791

And it's a financial handcuffs situation.

: 1040

00:49:33,091 --> 00:49:34,651

And so I always.

: 1041

00:49:35,281 --> 00:49:37,351

Even subtly tried to infuse conversations.

: 1042

00:49:37,351 --> 00:49:41,641

I have with people with encouraging

people to make smart choices with whatever

: 1043

00:49:41,641 --> 00:49:44,671

income they have and protect their.

: 1044

00:49:45,361 --> 00:49:46,051

Safety.

: 1045

00:49:46,381 --> 00:49:49,531

, and I think when you've had that safety

eroded, and especially if you live

: 1046

00:49:49,531 --> 00:49:53,521

in, you know, a developing country and

you've watched your markets spike and

: 1047

00:49:53,521 --> 00:49:56,911

crash, and you know, you hear stories of

family members, who've lost everything.

: 1048

00:49:57,181 --> 00:50:00,511

It's really scary, but I think

it's, it's so important to.

: 1049

00:50:00,901 --> 00:50:03,931

Again, set yourself up for

success because nobody else cares.

: 1050

00:50:03,961 --> 00:50:05,191

No one else is going to do it for you.

: 1051

00:50:05,851 --> 00:50:06,991

No one is.

: 1052

00:50:06,991 --> 00:50:11,971

And I'd like to take this to a question

that we had talked about, , when one

: 1053

00:50:11,971 --> 00:50:15,511

spouse makes more than the other,

or maybe one spouse doesn't work at

: 1054

00:50:15,511 --> 00:50:17,731

all, like what does that look like?

: 1055

00:50:17,971 --> 00:50:19,891

I am a huge believer in both.

: 1056

00:50:19,921 --> 00:50:22,501

People need to have their own.

: 1057

00:50:22,861 --> 00:50:26,401

Investments and savings and you

can have different investment

: 1058

00:50:26,401 --> 00:50:29,101

philosophies for, for both partners.

: 1059

00:50:29,161 --> 00:50:32,941

That is a okay, but you need your

own accounts and, and let's also

: 1060

00:50:32,941 --> 00:50:36,301

do a little bit of education on

what types of accounts there are.

: 1061

00:50:36,391 --> 00:50:36,751

Yeah.

: 1062

00:50:36,781 --> 00:50:41,821

So you have retirement accounts,

which can be either 401k days.

: 1063

00:50:41,881 --> 00:50:43,081

Most people are aware of that.

: 1064

00:50:43,351 --> 00:50:45,961

Maybe it's a 4 57 or 4 0 3 B.

: 1065

00:50:45,961 --> 00:50:51,811

If you're in government or nonprofit or

an IRA, an individual retirement account.

: 1066

00:50:52,201 --> 00:50:55,141

401k's four 50 sevens for three BS.

: 1067

00:50:55,141 --> 00:50:58,321

Those are when you are with your employer.

: 1068

00:50:58,891 --> 00:51:03,421

An IRA individual retirement account

is when you leave that employer

: 1069

00:51:03,421 --> 00:51:04,651

and you move that money with you.

: 1070

00:51:05,371 --> 00:51:06,781

They are owned by one person.

: 1071

00:51:07,021 --> 00:51:07,351

You.

: 1072

00:51:08,401 --> 00:51:12,211

On the other side, you have taxable

accounts, which kind of used to be

: 1073

00:51:12,211 --> 00:51:15,511

called brokerage accounts or just

like a regular investing account.

: 1074

00:51:15,631 --> 00:51:15,871

Yeah.

: 1075

00:51:16,081 --> 00:51:17,221

That is not at all.

: 1076

00:51:17,221 --> 00:51:18,091

Tied to retirement.

: 1077

00:51:18,301 --> 00:51:22,411

Taxable accounts are accessible at

any point in time without penalty.

: 1078

00:51:22,981 --> 00:51:25,351

Retirement accounts on the other hand.

: 1079

00:51:25,351 --> 00:51:29,791

For simplicity sake, you cannot

access until age 59 and a half.

: 1080

00:51:30,541 --> 00:51:32,761

So that money is really

there for the long term.

: 1081

00:51:33,061 --> 00:51:36,241

So taxable accounts can be jointly owned.

: 1082

00:51:36,691 --> 00:51:39,751

You could own a taxable account

with your mom, with your brother,

: 1083

00:51:39,841 --> 00:51:41,911

with your spouse or individually.

: 1084

00:51:42,511 --> 00:51:45,091

Retirement accounts are only owned by you.

: 1085

00:51:45,781 --> 00:51:49,981

So I want everyone to have their own

money, you know, that could be in

: 1086

00:51:49,981 --> 00:51:54,901

retirement or that could be in a taxable

account, but that needs to be yours.

: 1087

00:51:54,901 --> 00:51:55,021

Yeah.

: 1088

00:51:55,321 --> 00:51:56,191

That can also help.

: 1089

00:51:56,191 --> 00:51:59,551

If you differ on how to spend

your money, you prioritize.

: 1090

00:52:00,301 --> 00:52:04,051

Some good old clothing

shopping or some travel.

: 1091

00:52:04,591 --> 00:52:06,541

Or just different hobbies.

: 1092

00:52:06,541 --> 00:52:07,591

So this is my money.

: 1093

00:52:07,621 --> 00:52:08,551

You don't get a say.

: 1094

00:52:09,091 --> 00:52:09,511

Great.

: 1095

00:52:09,571 --> 00:52:11,131

You do whatever you want with your money.

: 1096

00:52:11,541 --> 00:52:16,461

, and if one person is making significantly

more or the other person isn't working

: 1097

00:52:16,461 --> 00:52:22,131

at all, I really try to push the

larger earner to budget in an equal

: 1098

00:52:22,131 --> 00:52:23,961

contribution for the other person.

: 1099

00:52:24,021 --> 00:52:24,531

Yeah.

: 1100

00:52:24,951 --> 00:52:27,771

Because it is about

supporting the household.

: 1101

00:52:28,191 --> 00:52:31,701

With in the back of my brain,

because I've seen everything happen.

: 1102

00:52:32,271 --> 00:52:35,931

Also each person having

their own pool of money.

: 1103

00:52:36,411 --> 00:52:40,221

Now almost all of it can

be divided during divorce.

: 1104

00:52:40,251 --> 00:52:43,311

So that's not a for sure fail safe.

: 1105

00:52:43,721 --> 00:52:44,951

, but it does.

: 1106

00:52:45,101 --> 00:52:45,971

Help.

: 1107

00:52:46,601 --> 00:52:49,211

And it keeps the mindset of.

: 1108

00:52:49,211 --> 00:52:53,351

Continually saving and investing,

being a priority and being important.

: 1109

00:52:53,351 --> 00:52:53,621

Yeah.

: 1110

00:52:53,951 --> 00:53:00,101

Creating financial stability to weather,

the unexpected things that come and.

: 1111

00:53:00,431 --> 00:53:06,251

Feeling powerful that if you need to leave

a situation for whatever reason, There

: 1112

00:53:06,251 --> 00:53:08,861

are resources that you have access to.

: 1113

00:53:09,491 --> 00:53:10,091

That you can do.

: 1114

00:53:10,091 --> 00:53:11,711

So, yeah, that's huge.

: 1115

00:53:12,821 --> 00:53:14,531

Unfortunately, but it just has to be.

: 1116

00:53:15,071 --> 00:53:19,601

And I always, I mean, I'm not married,

but the thought of combining finances

: 1117

00:53:19,601 --> 00:53:22,361

with somebody is so terrifying

because I know how I am with my money.

: 1118

00:53:22,631 --> 00:53:24,611

But I think it needs to be like a yours.

: 1119

00:53:24,731 --> 00:53:25,931

Mine, ours.

: 1120

00:53:26,501 --> 00:53:29,801

And the people who just go all

in and are just like here, you

: 1121

00:53:29,801 --> 00:53:30,911

can have access to all my money.

: 1122

00:53:30,911 --> 00:53:32,261

I'm like, girl, what are you doing?

: 1123

00:53:33,431 --> 00:53:36,131

My husband and I do not

have everything shared.

: 1124

00:53:36,251 --> 00:53:38,951

Yeah, we have a yours,

mine, and we have an hours.

: 1125

00:53:39,421 --> 00:53:42,991

, and, and every family's going to set

it up a little bit differently, and

: 1126

00:53:42,991 --> 00:53:46,291

that is kind of one of those questions

that I do not answer for people.

: 1127

00:53:46,651 --> 00:53:51,061

I say, you know, Think about

how it seems fair to you guys.

: 1128

00:53:51,661 --> 00:53:55,471

To split bills and to still

be working towards savings.

: 1129

00:53:56,041 --> 00:54:01,891

With the end goal of get your bills paid

and everyone needs to be saving money.

: 1130

00:54:01,921 --> 00:54:04,471

Fairly equally if possible.

: 1131

00:54:04,621 --> 00:54:06,541

Now if one person just

spends all their money.

: 1132

00:54:06,571 --> 00:54:09,601

Well, You can't just constantly

replenish their side of it.

: 1133

00:54:09,631 --> 00:54:09,961

Right.

: 1134

00:54:10,111 --> 00:54:13,351

So there has to be a little bit of like

personal ownership and responsibility.

: 1135

00:54:13,351 --> 00:54:13,591

Yeah.

: 1136

00:54:13,591 --> 00:54:15,871

But you don't have to share everything.

: 1137

00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:18,871

Yeah, I think sometimes there's a.

: 1138

00:54:18,871 --> 00:54:22,381

I know, I keep going back to like,

it's a woman thing, but like, there's

: 1139

00:54:22,381 --> 00:54:25,111

like that fairy tale, like, oh, some

prince is going to come sweep you

: 1140

00:54:25,111 --> 00:54:26,011

off your feet and dah, dah, dah.

: 1141

00:54:26,041 --> 00:54:29,971

And I think that kind of an underlying

theme of that is that like, then they'll

: 1142

00:54:29,971 --> 00:54:35,131

be in charge and I think people hand away

autonomy and safety on a silver platter.

: 1143

00:54:35,401 --> 00:54:40,021

And then in 15 years they're like, oh

gosh, like I, how do I get out of this?

: 1144

00:54:40,441 --> 00:54:43,621

And I like to set yourself up

again for success before that even

: 1145

00:54:43,651 --> 00:54:45,961

potentially happens, it happens.

: 1146

00:54:45,991 --> 00:54:52,351

And I even think beyond just

sort of like, oh, I don't know.

: 1147

00:54:52,351 --> 00:54:54,001

It's easier to let him deal with it.

: 1148

00:54:54,061 --> 00:54:57,181

I think we are all so busy and

we all take on so much that

: 1149

00:54:57,181 --> 00:54:59,041

you kind of silo activities.

: 1150

00:54:59,671 --> 00:55:02,191

I do most of cooking dinner.

: 1151

00:55:02,221 --> 00:55:03,931

My husband does dishes.

: 1152

00:55:03,991 --> 00:55:06,481

I'm talking about tradesman stuff.

: 1153

00:55:06,481 --> 00:55:09,661

We're currently like, we think we need

a new heating and air conditioning.

: 1154

00:55:09,961 --> 00:55:11,581

That is my husband's project.

: 1155

00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:16,711

I was calling the manufacturer of

our daughter's car seat because we

: 1156

00:55:16,711 --> 00:55:20,911

had a question like you, you silo

activities because it's just easier.

: 1157

00:55:20,941 --> 00:55:24,271

And finances are one of those

things that typically get siloed.

: 1158

00:55:24,631 --> 00:55:26,821

Because there's only so

many hours in the day.

: 1159

00:55:27,391 --> 00:55:29,941

But I encourage people to

kind of pop their head up.

: 1160

00:55:29,941 --> 00:55:34,321

If you are not the primary person

that deals with the finances.

: 1161

00:55:34,591 --> 00:55:35,731

Maybe like once a year.

: 1162

00:55:35,821 --> 00:55:36,181

Yeah.

: 1163

00:55:36,241 --> 00:55:37,741

Join that meeting.

: 1164

00:55:38,191 --> 00:55:39,751

And, and just get an update.

: 1165

00:55:39,871 --> 00:55:40,261

Yeah.

: 1166

00:55:41,041 --> 00:55:44,581

Well, and if your husband or your spouse

or your partner drops dead, you need

: 1167

00:55:44,581 --> 00:55:46,441

to know , how do we pay Georgia power?

: 1168

00:55:46,441 --> 00:55:48,151

Like what what's going on?

: 1169

00:55:48,481 --> 00:55:52,501

, you do, you, you, do you need

to know where everything is.

: 1170

00:55:52,711 --> 00:55:54,331

You need to know passwords.

: 1171

00:55:54,451 --> 00:56:01,291

, up until very recently, we still had

to go in and make a manual payment.

: 1172

00:56:01,291 --> 00:56:03,511

I mean, not like go in in

person, but my husband had to

: 1173

00:56:03,511 --> 00:56:05,311

manually pay our water bill.

: 1174

00:56:05,551 --> 00:56:05,941

Interesting.

: 1175

00:56:06,031 --> 00:56:06,931

Which is crazy.

: 1176

00:56:06,931 --> 00:56:09,271

I mean, in a day and age where

everything is set up as auto

: 1177

00:56:09,271 --> 00:56:11,971

pay, you don't think of that.

: 1178

00:56:12,151 --> 00:56:16,411

And that one particular service provider

is different from the rest and it's

: 1179

00:56:16,411 --> 00:56:18,241

not going to automatically happen.

: 1180

00:56:19,381 --> 00:56:23,071

You got to know these things

you do, you do so create a list.

: 1181

00:56:23,161 --> 00:56:26,911

I mean nowhere, everyone in the

family should know where it is.

: 1182

00:56:27,331 --> 00:56:29,071

Yeah, I know who to call.

: 1183

00:56:29,641 --> 00:56:30,751

, I mean, it.

: 1184

00:56:31,411 --> 00:56:36,001

Always surprises me when

someone passes away.

: 1185

00:56:36,481 --> 00:56:38,161

And it takes the other family.

: 1186

00:56:38,431 --> 00:56:43,201

Like, you know, if it's the last

person, a mom and dad passes.

: 1187

00:56:43,471 --> 00:56:44,761

The children.

: 1188

00:56:45,331 --> 00:56:48,481

You know, take some, a long

time to contact an advisor.

: 1189

00:56:49,531 --> 00:56:52,351

They should've already

known where that money was.

: 1190

00:56:52,351 --> 00:56:54,241

That should have been a smooth transition.

: 1191

00:56:54,961 --> 00:57:00,781

That's an area where you don't want there

to be a delay and accessing your assets.

: 1192

00:57:01,381 --> 00:57:05,191

And you don't want there to be a

delay in continuing to pay bills.

: 1193

00:57:06,431 --> 00:57:09,431

, if you haven't already, please

go back and listen to my episode.

: 1194

00:57:09,461 --> 00:57:12,551

, you're going to die with wills and

trust attorney, Rebecca Cummings.

: 1195

00:57:12,761 --> 00:57:17,171

We get into the nitty gritty

of how to set yourself up.

: 1196

00:57:17,271 --> 00:57:20,121

, you know, to die so that you're

not burdening, whoever's left

: 1197

00:57:20,121 --> 00:57:24,801

behind with untangling, this

whole web of financial stuff.

: 1198

00:57:24,831 --> 00:57:25,851

I think it's super important.

: 1199

00:57:25,851 --> 00:57:28,011

And these are conversations

that are really easy to put off.

: 1200

00:57:28,341 --> 00:57:29,511

, and so it makes sense.

: 1201

00:57:29,511 --> 00:57:33,721

I think why people shy away from

it, , or inserting themselves into a

: 1202

00:57:33,751 --> 00:57:37,981

kind of an unspoken dynamic that sort

of has just evolved, but I've got

: 1203

00:57:37,981 --> 00:57:40,171

one more comment to make, and then

we can pivot away from this, but.

: 1204

00:57:41,011 --> 00:57:44,131

When it comes to marriage in particular,

the person that you divorce is

: 1205

00:57:44,131 --> 00:57:45,421

not the person that you married.

: 1206

00:57:45,631 --> 00:57:49,801

And so you need to make smart decisions

to set your future self up again.

: 1207

00:57:49,801 --> 00:57:53,101

I keep saying that's for success,

knowing that people change and

: 1208

00:57:53,101 --> 00:57:57,841

dynamics evolve and, uh, The person

you trust the most of yourself.

: 1209

00:57:58,561 --> 00:58:00,271

And I would add to that.

: 1210

00:58:00,661 --> 00:58:06,961

The divorces from a financial perspective

that I think have gone the best longterm.

: 1211

00:58:07,441 --> 00:58:08,641

They spell out.

: 1212

00:58:08,971 --> 00:58:11,191

A lot in the divorce agreement.

: 1213

00:58:11,581 --> 00:58:17,371

Uh, including if you have

children, how is paying for college

: 1214

00:58:17,401 --> 00:58:19,171

weddings, things that come up.

: 1215

00:58:19,381 --> 00:58:21,391

, maybe if it's even a car.

: 1216

00:58:21,781 --> 00:58:23,161

How does that get divided?

: 1217

00:58:23,161 --> 00:58:25,171

Who's responsible for what?

: 1218

00:58:25,531 --> 00:58:28,861

Because it can be something where if you

get divorced and your kids are young,

: 1219

00:58:28,891 --> 00:58:30,661

you might think that is so far away.

: 1220

00:58:30,721 --> 00:58:30,931

Yeah.

: 1221

00:58:30,931 --> 00:58:34,621

And then neither of you is

maybe really planning for.

: 1222

00:58:35,071 --> 00:58:37,711

That big expense and suddenly it's here.

: 1223

00:58:37,811 --> 00:58:41,531

. And then you've derailed

your personal financial plan.

: 1224

00:58:42,011 --> 00:58:44,561

Because something wasn't kind

of talked through way back when.

: 1225

00:58:44,681 --> 00:58:45,071

Yeah.

: 1226

00:58:45,161 --> 00:58:47,621

So just a little bit of suggestion.

: 1227

00:58:48,461 --> 00:58:52,601

Get things really ironed

out and be specific.

: 1228

00:58:53,081 --> 00:58:56,531

Do the mental work now to

save you in the future?

: 1229

00:58:56,591 --> 00:58:56,951

Yeah.

: 1230

00:58:57,341 --> 00:59:00,251

Well, I, I don't know if you have

any strong opinions about prenups.

: 1231

00:59:00,251 --> 00:59:00,761

I do.

: 1232

00:59:00,761 --> 00:59:01,991

I think everybody should have one.

: 1233

00:59:02,181 --> 00:59:04,491

, and I think that people associate that

they're like, oh, I'm not a millionaire.

: 1234

00:59:04,521 --> 00:59:08,391

I don't need a prenup, but this is how

I look at it when you love somebody.

: 1235

00:59:08,391 --> 00:59:11,061

And you're like, I want to

combine my life with you.

: 1236

00:59:11,061 --> 00:59:11,811

I love you.

: 1237

00:59:13,101 --> 00:59:17,961

I think that it behooves, both parties

involved talk about if for whatever

: 1238

00:59:17,961 --> 00:59:22,671

reason we decide to dissolve this

union, let's talk about while we love

: 1239

00:59:22,671 --> 00:59:25,911

each other, what we think would be fair

and what we want that to look like.

: 1240

00:59:25,941 --> 00:59:27,921

And there are so many

ways to structure it.

: 1241

00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:30,061

, out of love and not fear.

: 1242

00:59:30,091 --> 00:59:32,551

And also if you love this person,

you're going to be together forever.

: 1243

00:59:32,791 --> 00:59:36,571

None of it will matter, but if you do

end up getting divorced, then again,

: 1244

00:59:36,571 --> 00:59:40,291

your past self has said, this is what

we agree on and being fair and not, oh,

: 1245

00:59:40,291 --> 00:59:41,851

you've hooked up with your secretary.

: 1246

00:59:42,031 --> 00:59:43,051

I want, you know what I mean?

: 1247

00:59:43,051 --> 00:59:46,591

Like when there's all of this

raw emotion, that's not the time

: 1248

00:59:46,591 --> 00:59:48,691

to make smart fiscal decisions.

: 1249

00:59:49,321 --> 00:59:51,091

Totally agree.

: 1250

00:59:51,571 --> 00:59:56,641

And I think that what you said is so

pointed, if you never get divorced.

: 1251

00:59:56,671 --> 00:59:57,241

Perfect.

: 1252

00:59:57,631 --> 00:59:59,281

You have never needed it.

: 1253

00:59:59,791 --> 01:00:03,271

And you went into it when you

were thinking very clearly

: 1254

01:00:03,301 --> 01:00:05,701

not when emotions run high.

: 1255

01:00:05,731 --> 01:00:06,151

Yeah.

: 1256

01:00:06,541 --> 01:00:10,951

Uh, I think a lot of times we make bad

emotional decisions, whether that is.

: 1257

01:00:11,281 --> 01:00:12,181

Investing.

: 1258

01:00:12,441 --> 01:00:18,141

, screaming at someone, you know, demanding

things or giving up things in a divorce.

: 1259

01:00:18,561 --> 01:00:21,981

Emotions really wreck havoc on everything.

: 1260

01:00:21,981 --> 01:00:28,081

So have things thought out before

that, , definitely solidly a lawyers

: 1261

01:00:28,141 --> 01:00:30,841

realm of things, talking about prenups.

: 1262

01:00:30,841 --> 01:00:34,021

I would say within the financial world.

: 1263

01:00:34,271 --> 01:00:37,991

, you can set up irrevocable trusts.

: 1264

01:00:38,581 --> 01:00:45,001

, and I am 98% sure that those

are not impacted by divorce.

: 1265

01:00:45,721 --> 01:00:51,541

So if I am a parent and I want

to make sure that the inheritance

: 1266

01:00:51,541 --> 01:00:54,331

that I am leaving to my

daughter stays with my daughter.

: 1267

01:00:54,811 --> 01:00:58,201

And her future husband

does not get half of it.

: 1268

01:00:58,651 --> 01:01:01,411

You can put that money into

an irrevocable trust and then

: 1269

01:01:01,411 --> 01:01:02,761

he does not have access to it.

: 1270

01:01:02,791 --> 01:01:04,561

Love that, which is my understanding.

: 1271

01:01:05,011 --> 01:01:07,831

Definitely talk with your lawyer

and make sure that that's correct,

: 1272

01:01:08,071 --> 01:01:09,871

but, but that is the intention.

: 1273

01:01:09,901 --> 01:01:16,171

You're not trying to have some future

ex son-in-law take even a portion.

: 1274

01:01:16,621 --> 01:01:18,841

Of what your hard-earned.

: 1275

01:01:19,131 --> 01:01:21,261

Inheritances for your child.

: 1276

01:01:21,831 --> 01:01:24,441

, so trust seem daunting.

: 1277

01:01:24,441 --> 01:01:26,121

They seem like, why would I need it?

: 1278

01:01:26,841 --> 01:01:29,031

Everyone needs planning.

: 1279

01:01:29,091 --> 01:01:29,631

Yes.

: 1280

01:01:30,471 --> 01:01:33,891

And I think too, if you don't have,

if you're not talking about an

: 1281

01:01:33,921 --> 01:01:37,191

amount of money that has two commas

in it, that it's not worth it.

: 1282

01:01:37,461 --> 01:01:38,181

And I think.

: 1283

01:01:38,451 --> 01:01:41,391

Something that's important to me is

that planning for yourself financially.

: 1284

01:01:41,391 --> 01:01:42,861

It can happen at any income level.

: 1285

01:01:43,461 --> 01:01:49,161

It can, I have seen people with

millions of dollars be irresponsible,

: 1286

01:01:49,161 --> 01:01:53,031

and I've seen people with millions of

dollars be very responsible and I've

: 1287

01:01:53,031 --> 01:01:57,351

seen the same when someone inherits

60,000 or a hundred thousand dollars.

: 1288

01:01:57,431 --> 01:01:58,241

. It goes both ways.

: 1289

01:01:58,241 --> 01:02:00,791

They're either like,

this is such a huge gift.

: 1290

01:02:01,061 --> 01:02:02,351

This has changed my life.

: 1291

01:02:02,381 --> 01:02:06,071

I'm going to be a good steward of

this money and I've seen people just

: 1292

01:02:06,071 --> 01:02:08,201

take it out and spend it in a year.

: 1293

01:02:08,321 --> 01:02:14,171

Oh, So, if you can put some

parameters around this gift that

: 1294

01:02:14,171 --> 01:02:16,091

you are bestowing in the future.

: 1295

01:02:16,151 --> 01:02:16,481

Yeah.

: 1296

01:02:17,201 --> 01:02:21,851

It's going to protect that person that

you are giving it to for the long run.

: 1297

01:02:21,881 --> 01:02:23,921

It protects it from someone

else coming and getting it.

: 1298

01:02:24,131 --> 01:02:28,061

It also protects it from saying like,

Hey, you can't spend it all at once.

: 1299

01:02:28,331 --> 01:02:32,231

Like, let's have this be there for

a couple of good things for you.

: 1300

01:02:32,441 --> 01:02:32,831

Yes.

: 1301

01:02:33,011 --> 01:02:33,761

I love that.

: 1302

01:02:33,761 --> 01:02:36,641

I think it's super important

and all of this stuff is going

: 1303

01:02:36,671 --> 01:02:37,961

to come up one way or another.

: 1304

01:02:38,201 --> 01:02:41,741

It's just making the choice

to do the legwork in advance.

: 1305

01:02:41,741 --> 01:02:44,801

As opposed to, again, when you're at

a really heightened state of emotion.

: 1306

01:02:44,951 --> 01:02:47,561

I don't think anybody makes their

best choices in that head space.

: 1307

01:02:47,861 --> 01:02:50,831

Oh, of course naturally, you

know, do it when you're calm.

: 1308

01:02:51,371 --> 01:02:56,741

Do it now and then, you know, set it

and forget it for a little bit, you

: 1309

01:02:56,741 --> 01:03:01,061

know, maybe check in on it every five,

seven years I think is what they say

: 1310

01:03:01,061 --> 01:03:05,081

for like your well, she's got to gather

everything up, do it at the same time.

: 1311

01:03:05,111 --> 01:03:05,651

Yeah.

: 1312

01:03:06,161 --> 01:03:09,221

, one of the things I love about this

lawyer that I've referenced Rebecca

: 1313

01:03:09,221 --> 01:03:13,481

Cummings, she has her customers

put together and I love you folder.

: 1314

01:03:13,811 --> 01:03:17,531

And in that folder, , let's say

somebody drops dead unexpectedly.

: 1315

01:03:17,531 --> 01:03:18,971

It's like, oh my God, I

know where this folder is.

: 1316

01:03:19,181 --> 01:03:22,091

It's got all the accounts, it's got

the passwords, it's got everything

: 1317

01:03:22,091 --> 01:03:25,871

that you need to wrap up the

business of that person's life.

: 1318

01:03:25,871 --> 01:03:29,471

At the lowest amount of stress

possible so that you can also grieve.

: 1319

01:03:29,831 --> 01:03:32,951

, and I think that if you love

somebody, there's no better gift.

: 1320

01:03:32,951 --> 01:03:36,011

You can give them than

having your affairs in order.

: 1321

01:03:36,331 --> 01:03:39,151

, if you know that there's somebody that's

going to have to deal with potentially

: 1322

01:03:39,151 --> 01:03:40,591

deal with ramifications of the loss.

: 1323

01:03:40,891 --> 01:03:41,551

Yes.

: 1324

01:03:41,581 --> 01:03:45,331

I mean, I see this on a very regular

basis, unfortunately, just with, you

: 1325

01:03:45,331 --> 01:03:50,281

know, we deal with clients that are

90 all the way down to like, well,

: 1326

01:03:50,281 --> 01:03:53,971

I mean, newborn, you know, people

opening accounts for their children.

: 1327

01:03:54,031 --> 01:03:54,361

Yeah.

: 1328

01:03:54,811 --> 01:04:00,121

The mental load that your loved ones

have to take on when you pass and

: 1329

01:04:00,121 --> 01:04:03,271

all the places they have to call and

all the times they have to send in a

: 1330

01:04:03,301 --> 01:04:05,371

death certificate and this and that.

: 1331

01:04:05,731 --> 01:04:08,041

And that takes up so

much emotional energy.

: 1332

01:04:08,221 --> 01:04:10,171

If you can make that simpler.

: 1333

01:04:10,471 --> 01:04:15,331

And just allow them to

grieve and take their time.

: 1334

01:04:15,331 --> 01:04:22,681

That is a huge gift you are giving and

grieving, I think can be really beautiful.

: 1335

01:04:22,681 --> 01:04:27,211

I had a very hard time when several

of my grandparents passed away.

: 1336

01:04:27,751 --> 01:04:30,961

And I've always remembered some of the

things that they've said at the services.

: 1337

01:04:31,681 --> 01:04:37,141

Grieving and being sad is a recognition

of how much that person meant to you.

: 1338

01:04:37,231 --> 01:04:37,861

Yes.

: 1339

01:04:38,161 --> 01:04:42,481

And keep tapping into those

feelings because it's, it's.

: 1340

01:04:42,991 --> 01:04:47,011

Having those memories and still

join enjoying those memories.

: 1341

01:04:47,791 --> 01:04:50,131

And it's going to be hard and

it's going to be sad, but you

: 1342

01:04:50,131 --> 01:04:51,871

honor that person by doing that.

: 1343

01:04:51,871 --> 01:04:54,541

So make sure that you have the time.

: 1344

01:04:54,991 --> 01:04:59,701

To grieve and just sort of sit with

that and not just be so wiped out

: 1345

01:04:59,701 --> 01:05:03,511

by, by having a laundry list of,

I don't know where to start with,

: 1346

01:05:03,601 --> 01:05:05,281

get, getting everything in order.

: 1347

01:05:05,371 --> 01:05:06,631

Absolutely agree with that.

: 1348

01:05:09,116 --> 01:05:12,656

This episode ended up being

really long and really valuable.

: 1349

01:05:12,656 --> 01:05:14,516

So I'm going to break

it up into two episodes.

: 1350

01:05:14,566 --> 01:05:18,376

Right now I'm going to end section

one and I'm going to pick up

: 1351

01:05:18,376 --> 01:05:19,786

with you on the section two.

: 1352

01:05:19,816 --> 01:05:21,556

. thank you so, so much for listening.

: 1353

01:05:21,556 --> 01:05:25,456

I hope you got as much out of this

episode, as I did and friendly reminder

: 1354

01:05:25,606 --> 01:05:30,436

listeners get 10% off@hawkinsandclover.com

with promo code Clover club.

: 1355

01:05:30,736 --> 01:05:35,116

All caps and you can find us on

social media at Clover club pod.

: 1356

01:05:35,116 --> 01:05:37,586

And that's where we collected , all

of the questions for today's episode.

: 1357

01:05:37,586 --> 01:05:39,686

So if you don't follow this

already, please give us a follow

: 1358

01:05:39,686 --> 01:05:41,306

because we do some fun stuff on.

: 1359

01:05:41,606 --> 01:05:42,386

Instagram.

: 1360

01:05:42,636 --> 01:05:45,096

, and if you found that this

episode was beneficial to you.

: 1361

01:05:45,636 --> 01:05:46,416

Please share it.

: 1362

01:05:46,416 --> 01:05:50,586

I rarely ask directly to have episodes

shared, but I think that this is one,

: 1363

01:05:50,796 --> 01:05:53,526

you know, while you're listening,

surely you thought of some friends or

: 1364

01:05:53,526 --> 01:05:55,026

family members that could benefit from.

: 1365

01:05:55,266 --> 01:05:58,236

From hearing this information,

please share it thank you so, so much